


Seperation and How to Deal with It

by baconyeolmae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Divorce, Infidelity, M/M, Marriage, Post-Break Up, Same-Sex Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:14:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baconyeolmae/pseuds/baconyeolmae
Summary: “Fuck.” Baekhyun said with a broken voice. He lifted up his face and looked at Chanyeol with teary eyes.“Let’s stop this, this is not marriage, Yeol. I hardly feel that I know you, up to the point that I think it is wrong to say that you are my husband.” Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun with expressionless eyes. Besides, what should he say? He never thought that this will happened. It’s Baekhyun, the one that grew up with him since he was five, the one that married with him when they both were twenty, the one that put up with his unfaithful encounters. Should he be happy now that he could have freedom? After all they were married too young, and these 6 years of marriage was like a proof, he cheated the last three years of his marriage with two different guys.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol, Oh Sehun/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 25
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

**10 January 2020**

“Fuck.” Baekhyun said with a broken voice. He lifted up his face and looked at Chanyeol with teary eyes.

“Let’s stop this, this is not marriage, Yeol. I hardly feel that I know you, up to the point that I think it is wrong to say that you are my husband.” Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun with expressionless eyes. Besides, what should he say? He never thought that this will happened. It’s Baekhyun, the one that grew up with him since he was five, the one that married with him when they both were twenty, the one that put up with his unfaithful encounters. Should he be happy now that he could have freedom? After all they were married too young, and these 6 years of marriage was like a proof, he cheated the last three years of his marriage with two different guys.

“Prepare a lawyer. I will send you a divorce form.” Baekhyun said and left him alone at their dining room where they have the talk. He let out a sigh, sure he didn’t love his husband anymore, but he always know that Baekhyun loves him, and him seeing his husband broke in front of him made him felt heavy hearted.

Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows when Baekhyun drag two suitcases from their room, it means that Baekhyun was fully prepared before he asked for the talk. He cleared his throat and it successfully attracts Baekhyun’s attention. He stood up awkwardly and put his hands on his pocket.

“Just stay, I’ll be the one who leave.” He felt that him being a jerk throughout his marriage years was bad enough. He should be the one leaving, and at least let him stay at their apartment.

“No, you can keep it.” Baekhyun said firmly and continued to drag his suitcases and left the apartment. ‘ _You can even get Sehun to move in with you to our apartment.’_ Baekhyun bitterly thought, his heart clenched painfully but he reminds himself that the divorce was for a greater good.

__________________________________________________________________

Baekhyun decided to forbid himself to dwell on his upcoming divorce, he instead promised himself to focus on self-discover. He and Chanyeol were together for as long as Baekhyun could remember, it was since they were five, they did everything together and they compromise when they have different hobbies and ideas, it’s resulting them to have a same habits; as if they are the same individual, but it’s not Baekhyun. It’s Chanyeol’s Baekhyun, now he wants to be Baekhyun, Baekhyun, if it makes sense at all.

Baekhyun started to list down things that he wished he did but never did because Chanyeol hates it when he does. Like going to vintage shops, because Chanyeol hates when he has to buy ridiculously high price for old stuff, riding a bicycle, because Chanyeol hates cardio and persuade him to hit the gym instead, going to more musicals because Baekhyun likes to be immersed on the heightened emotions that musicals carry, it felt almost magical for him but he didn’t really watch it because Chanyeol hates how fake it seems. ‘ _Are you able to sing that high note when you are broken hearted?’ or ‘Are you really able to think of a music in your head when you first saw your true love? And how can you know it’s your true love!’_ Chanyeol once asked and Baekhyun remembered retorted back with ‘ _Fuck you, let me enjoy my musical.’_ But the annoying Yoda man kept on mocking the musical and Baekhyun compromise, he watched concert and movies with Chanyeol, but never musical.

He would start to eat spicy stuff and went on famous restaurant known by its spicy dishes. He missed of the feeling that his lips added some volume and numb after eating spicy food. He also wished to hit the club as a single man because he was in relationship with Chanyeol as soon as he reached puberty, maybe he could also smoke and drink as much as he wants at the club. He used to smoke, but Chanyeol hate it and angry when he smoked, so he quit on the first week he tried smoking, he also never went to the club without Chanyeol because his husband always forbids. Because now, he could use some freedom. Continuing listing down trivial matters that he wants to do brought excitement within himself, then the last thing he wrote down made him smile bitterly, because he didn’t know when will he be able to do it, but he wants to.

‘ _Online dating apps, and blind dates.’_ Because of course, he never does both, he’s Chanyeol’s Baekhyun. Always. But now, not anymore.

__________________________________________________________________

Chanyeol was ecstatic and instantly the next day after his husband wanting a divorce. He straightly told his boyfriend, Sehun and tell him about his divorce. They now agree to move to Sehun’s apartment. This was what he always wanted, having more liberty with his wonderful boyfriend. Sehun was different from Baekhyun, he is exciting, his life motto was _‘fuck it, we live only once, feel what you want to feel, do what you want to do, live without regret, after all we are going to be forever love, sad, happy in this live.’_ True to his words, he enchanted Chanyeol, because he and Baekhyun are too cautious. Baekhyun were even more so, his husband always the wise one between them both.

Sehun was like a flame, that he wants to play along with, which excite him every time he touched. _‘Will it hurt me this time?’ ‘Can I conquer this flame?’_ And Baekhyun was, Baekhyun. He’s a safe haven, the one which made him comfortable, the one who was always there for Chanyeol. He was actually never thought that Baekhyun will be able to leave him. He was always Chanyeol’s Baekhyun, well, not anymore, but it shouldn’t have mattered, right? People have to step out from their safe zone. Baekhyun was safe zone, and now he’s stepping out. And Chanyeol satisfied on the step that he took. Or so he thought.

**__________________________________________________________________**

**15 April 2020**

Baekhyun has done a great deal of a job on distracting himself and it worked. A week after he shut himself out, hiding himself in a hotel; he came out with new resolution, to be the Baekhyun, Baekhyun. He was thinking of a friend to crash and help him to find himself, the one that won’t blabber to Chanyeol because their friends are mostly the same, they grew up together, after all. So, he racked his brain and chose Kai.

Kai, was wild, and enticing, he lived a totally different life than Baekhyun, though he was always envious of the way his friend was living his life, he couldn’t even contact with Kai freely, because Chanyeol never like Kai, he was too wild for Baekhyun, he afraid Kai will be a bad influence. So even though Kai was his friend, he was never Chanyeol’s. And Chanyeol were gone from his life, and so Fuck with Chanyeol and just get on to it. He wanted to live at the wild side.

Kai made him do crazy things, like a makeover, first, he made him wear a grey contact lens. Which actually made Baekhyun grimace, he never tried contact lens, it never crossed his mind even once, and why should it be grey? How if he looked like a sorceress by it? Kai coax him into it and when he tried, he felt weird, he exerted different vibe, which he didn’t know good or bad.

Second, Kai dragged him to shop for outfits. Baekhyun felt fine, he has a great selection of comfortable oversized shirt and pants, which some of them he couldn’t remember was his or Chanyeol’s because they always share, but it didn’t matter, everything he took out from the apartment, he claimed it as his. But Kai glared at him on his statement.

“You look like a lazy nerd, well, some could do because it seems like hip hop-ish, but most of it makes you look soft.”

“But I am a lazy nerd. I look fine.”

“No, I’ll make you look hot.” Kai gave him a resolute promise and Baekhyun found himself on having to buy four jeans, a black ripped jeans, a washed denim jeans, a black skinny leather jeans and another blue ripped jeans. Every jeans that he bought were his size, it’s hugging his curves so well that he grimace at the stuffy feeling, but Kai encourage him by patting his shoulder a few time and smile in satisfaction.

“You looked hot in this, see, why do you always hide this cute peach.” Kai said and spanked his butt which he just glared and muttered _‘asshole’_ to him.

Next one, Kai also dragged him to gym every time he has a gym session. Baekhyun hated this so much, he never felt bad about himself, he loved himself just fine. But Kai always make sure to point out his bad part and kind of body shame him.

“Come on Baek, I know your man boobs were quite good, but the nipple staring down below to the floor. You know why? Because it’s not tight, there’s no muscle.” He said and grope it. The smaller slapped his hand and scowled.

“Seriously, let’s lift your pects so your nipple at least could see in front, not down below to the floor. And I know your butt and legs are sexy, but Baek, it’s flabby.” He said and played with it, creating a wave like motion. Which made Baekhyun’s face reddened, he made him feel bad about his body, he didn’t know if he felt more embarrassed or mad, well, maybe both. So, he said yes again for the idea.

Baekhyun was working as a freelance graphic designer, he didn’t really have any fixed schedule as long as he could finish the deadline, all is fine, he worked fully from home. He always feels that it was fortunate, because he was a homebody, but now, he was not sure if it is a good thing. Kai was a model and has a lot of free time, and, he always knows Baekhyun also had plenty of time, because they live together. So, now, every time he has a spare time, Kai always dragged him to work out, or shopping, or whatever shit he has to put up. The latest thing Kai persuade him to do was dyeing his hair. Baekhyun slapped Kai’s head playfully when he suggested the idea.

“Shithead, I’m not a model. Leave it be.” Baekhyun said expressionless, but deep down inside his heart, he could hear his inner self hoping Kai will drop it. Because Chanyeol loved his hair.

“ _Baek, I love your hair, it’s originally pitch black like a sky, it’s also soft and bouncy. Promise me to never dye it.”_ Chanyeol once said and pecking his crown while caressing his nape. No matter how he wanted to move on from Chanyeol, but breaking promises just felt wrong. He pouted.

“Come on, it’s fucking boring, just dye it. Blue or Red will look wonderful on you. Or should we dye both?” Kai asked mischievously. Baekhyun slapped his head harder.

“You’ll make me as if I’m a Korean flag, asshole.” And Kai just laughed.

“Come on, I’m a model, I know what looks good on people. I don’t take a no. Choose between blue, red or purple.” Baekhyun’s heart ran wild, well he wanted to object, but it means he has to tell Kai why he objected, and Kai will give him those sympathetic eyes, and gave him a lecture to move on because Chanyeol’s an asshole. So, no, he ran out of reason. He put his hand to his heart and caress it softly. ‘ _It’s all fine, Chanyeol will never come back. The promise means nothing. It’s fine, Baek. It’s fine.’_ He said to himself and he nodded nonchalantly.

“Red.” He said and Kai gave him a Cheshire like grinned, truly creepy and he hugged Baekhyun, well, actually he nearly squeezed Baekhyun to death.

“You won’t fucking regret.” Kai said and they did the deed several days after.

Red compliments Baekhyun very well. Kai said he looked like an incubus now, and Baekhyun, even though he tried to object, he couldn’t help but agreed, because when he saw himself on the mirror, seeing the new him, he was amazed himself. Was he always this pretty? He chuckled, feeling satisfied with the makeover.

Within the three months, it was safe to say that Baekhyun attained what he wants. He didn’t recognize Chanyeol’s Baekhyun anymore. Now he is Baekhyun, Baekhyun, with the new hair, eyes and wardrobe, and also with his somehow fitter and leaner body, he looked nothing like the boring and plain Chanyeol’s Baekhyun. Even if he was not sure that he was over his husband already, but at least he enjoyed himself. Being single was not hard. It was actually simple; he only has to think about himself. He didn’t have to think if Chanyeol will agree, or disagree, if Chanyeol will hate it or not, if it will anger Chanyeol or not, seriously, it’s only him. Nights at the clubs proofs that his freedom was amazing. Smoking, being wasted, grinding to stranger, dancing till his hips felt sore, and kissing, God, he never kissed anyone besides Chanyeol, and experiencing all this made him giddy. Now, he just will do whatever makes him happy, there’s no Chanyeol and his life was not over. He treated it as a new beginning.

For Chanyeol, these three months were too peaceful, it was new for being domestic for any other person besides Baekhyun. Now he discovers a lot of things about his younger boyfriend, like how he doesn’t really tidy up the house, which they have to play rock, paper, scissors when they want to tidy things up because apparently, Chanyeol was not neat himself. Or how the younger always tugs the blanket to himself and rolled into a cocoon left Chanyeol bare to the cold night air, or how he is so sassy and difficult to handle, always demand things in the most bratty ways but always give in to his dog, and many more, but he was still intrigue with Sehun, he was an interesting man, he never bore him.

Nothing really changed for Chanyeol in these three months, he just learnt more about his new partner and that’s it, he’s happy. Sometimes he would remember Baekhyun, and he was concerned if Baekhyun was okay, if he could cope with the divorce, but when he thought about it, he stopped and assured himself that all is okay, after all Baekhyun was the one which initiate the divorce. But sometimes, he also felt the itch to ask around for Baekhyun’s well-being. Well they have a same main friends circle, but he was too scared to reach out to their friends, he felt that his friends will side with Baekhyun and beat him up. But a few days ago, a weird occurrence happened. Yixing was casually asking him out to get together with their circle in the regular bar, and of course he’s going because it’s also has been a long time since, and low key he also wanted to check on his ex-husband.

It was a surprise for both Chanyeol and their friends when Chanyeol arrived. For Chanyeol who already anticipate his ex-husband’s appearance but seen none, and their friends which hugged him and asked where Baekhyun was. Then it struck to Chanyeol that their friends are not inviting Baekhyun because they thought Chanyeol’s still a package with him. In conclusion, Baekhyun didn’t tell about the breakups to any of their close friend, he’s pulling the same move as Chanyeol did. Why though? He thought Baekhyun will need to channel up his sadness, so where did his ex-husband confide to?

Despite feeling like a total jerk, he was still forced to talk about his breakup over beers. He didn’t try to defend himself much because he knows it will be futile and he knows his friends always secretly judged him over his treatment to Baekhyun. To put it simply, he just said that Baekhyun break him off, because he knew that he was caught red handed on chatting with his current boyfriend and it seems Baekhyun just gave up and decided to ended their marriage.

“Wow, Chanyeol-ah, you really feel nothing that Baekhyun’s really gone now?” Xiumin asked him without any sarcastic voice laced on that voice and he was grateful.

“Well, concerned, I guess? Because I thought he will seek and tell you guys about this, but none of you know anything, so where the hell is he?” Chanyeol frowned and massaged his head.

“Maybe this time he has someone too? You are not the only one who could cheat right?” Kyungsoo said and of course you can detect bitterness on his voice, he was one of the closest to Baekhyun after all. But what Kyungsoo said truly never cross Chanyeol’s mind. He coughed on his beers and their friends grimaced upon seeing him.

“Baekhyunie?” Chanyeol asked in a nervously high pitched. Nobody answers and it left Chanyeol to wonders

“Damn, should I have known this will happen, I will try to snatch him from you.” Yixing said with his Korean which still slightly Chinese accented. Chanyeol eyes widened in disbelief.

“You? I mean.. Baekhyunnie?” Chanyeol asked, and he saw some of his friends snickered, it makes him feeling somehow unsettling.

“You think he stayed with you because nobody wants him? He is attractive, jerk.” Kyungsoo said and gave him a piercing stare.

“Yea.. I mean the plump lips and the pointy nose.” Xiumin said.

“Like.. the adorable small figure.” Junmyeon said.

“And the ass.” Yixing said and he added a whistle, making him sounded like a pervert and Chanyeol was not familiar with this setting. He looked at his friends back and forth, feeling his heart felt a weird sensation.

“Why.. do I never know that you guys see B.. Baek like that?” Chanyeol asked, stuttered, because he really didn’t expect this, this was too shocking for him.

“Because it’s not ethical to say all those stuff in front of you, dimwit. Was it even possible for us to said those kinds of stuff to Irene when Junmyeon’s here?”

“Hey, hey, don’t drag my wife’s name into the conversation.” Junmyeon lightly chuckled but then he added. “But yeah, even though I’m super straight, but Baek is just too adorable, Yeol.”

Chanyeol sighed heavily. ‘Just where the fuck is Baekhyun’. He thought, he was getting concerned and restless. But he couldn’t show it ever to his friend. He was only an ex-husband after all.

__________________________________________________________________

From: Kyungsoo

_Hey, are you okay?_

Baekhyun was now wondering why a simple message of an ‘are you okay?’ Could stirred his feelings. Well maybe because of the guilt? He tried to defend himself. It must be because of the guilt, of him not telling his best friend about his split with Chanyeol and about the new life that he led on. Instead of replying an answer, which he didn’t really sure if he was really okay, he asked Kyungsoo to meet that very evening. He supposedly meeting him alone, but Kai, who has some leisure time at the moment, asked him to go together and he just sighed and let him, he hoped that Kyungsoo was okay with it.

“Hey, am I okay?” Baekhyun asked vulnerably to Kai. Even with his fiery red hair, hesitant could still be felt upon seeing his stance.

“You’re okay, come on, you’re fine, these three months you don’t even cry for your bastard ex-husband. You live your life just fine. You don’t have to think if you are okay, Baek. Just live at the moment and stop thinking.” Kai said in an assuring way and patted his back. Baekhyun just laughed.

“Well, if it’s not that I don’t think about my ex-husband anymore, it just weirdly didn’t hurt that much anymore and I’m content with this new me.”

“That means you are okay, shithead.” Kai rolled his eyes and smacked his head.

“Thanks, asshole.” Baekhyun smiled and slapped his chest rather hard.

Several hours later, they arrived at the chicken place that he and Kyungsoo liked. His friend seemed to be very shocked upon seeing Baekhyun current appearance. His eyes gone wide and his jaw went slack.

“Hey, don’t look at me as if you saw a freaking ghost.” Baekhyun said as he sat in front of Kyungsoo. Kai was elbowing him as he sat, as a signal of ‘ _you should have introduce me, before you lose the moment_.’ In his eyes. Kyungsoo shook his head comically, trying to regain his composure.

“Fuck, Baek you are..”

“Different?” Baekhyun asked as he lift one of his brows.

“Hot? He’s hot like this. Not like the boring Baekhyun I know.” Kai scoffed and Baekhyun punched his arms. Kyungsoo then averted his gaze on the guy that he never sees before, he didn’t say anything, but Baekhyun could see a big question mark from his face alone.

“Kai. This is kai.” Baekhyun said and Kai offer his hand towards Kyungsoo, whom staring at Kai up and down. Kai gulped and cleared his throat, which seemingly awaken him from his thoughts.

“Oh, sorry, I’m Kyungsoo.” He extended his hand and shook Kai’s hand.

“I don’t expect this Baek. New boyfriend at last?” Kyungsoo smiled widely.

“Uh no, I don’t see this dickhead that way, we are friends, well, close friends.” Baekhyun said and Kai laughed.

“Seriously, Baek is not even my type.”

“Umm, so, why do you come together? I mean, I thought you are going to come alone, and here you are with the not-boyfriend.”

“I lived in his house because I thought living alone might be too depressing, he got nothing to do today, so he asked if he could tag along, I hope you didn’t mind.” Baekhyun explained and Kyungsoo just nod. “Oh, and by the way Kai is a model, he has been helping me a lot on my makeover, how’s it?” Baekhyun asked and gave Kyungsoo a smug smile.

“I almost didn’t recognize you. What the fuck, I mean, red? Seriously? I never thought you can do that bold of a color; you never even die your hair.”

“Well, Chanyeol never let me, so..” Baekhyun shrugged. “But we are getting a divorce, I want to be me, like.. the me I could be but never be because of Yeol.” He then smiled at his friend.

“But yeah, Baek you look damn good. Are you okay though? With the whole ordeal?” Kyungsoo asked cautiously.

“Well, I don’t know. I mean I was with him my whole life and now we’re divorcing, you know? Like.. weird. But I don’t feel as sad as I thought I will be, I think I had enough.” He replied and Kai patted his back.

“Seriously, if Baek could have a boyfriend might be good for him. I mean, you should see the guys the world can offer you. Not everyone will mistreat you.” Kai encouraged him. Kyungsoo just nodded in agreement.

“Well, I’ve been hitting the club, flirting, and kissing with guys which I don’t know the name of. But, dating.. I mean, I never do it. It’s scary, dude.” Baekhyun said and his face blushed a little.

“Come on, install a dating app, I will teach you to flirt and do shit.” Kyungsoo smiled cheekily. “Or maybe we could hit off a blind date together so you won’t be too afraid.”

That night, Kyungsoo came to a conclusion that Baekhyun’s more than fine. Kai was glad because he has a new cute target who was single and Baekhyun was happy due to his best friend was supporting him, he downloaded a dating app as per recommendation and busy chastised Kai not to target on Kyungsoo. Well, Kai was also a player after all. But it was a great night for all of them.

__________________________________________________________________

After telling Sehun of his and his circle of friends’ meeting several days ago, and how concerned he was on where Baekhyun would be, Sehun was not being responsive on sending out opinions or assuring him about the whole Baekhyun condition. He just clucked his tongue and started to ravaged him. God, that was hot, but that was not what Chanyeol wants, actually. He wants somebody to talk to, not somebody for having a release. But when Chanyeol tried to say his point, Sehun just kissed him until he couldn’t say anything else. And after sex when he wanted to tell his story, Sehun just throw a pillow to his face and sassily said that he was tired. Now when he said he has a lot on his mind, Sehun just dragged him to a club. For God’s sake, what a crazy lover, Sehun was. But he loved Sehun, that’s why he left Baekhyun, or at least, that’s what he thought.

Chanyeol always love clubs, but he didn’t go often, because he didn’t like when Baekhyun went to club, and when he went, of course Baekhyun will tag along. Baekhyun had a very innocent face, but he smoked every time he was in a club, Chanyeol hate it, it looked wrong, because Baekhun was too cute for having a cigarrete on his lips. Oh, and Baekhyun will have a sexier clothe and also wearing an eyeliner, Chanyeol hate it. Why did people invent that freaking eyeliner? Baekhyun always make people stare and he absolutely hate it.

Sehun was different, he was sexier than Baekhyun, he has a body to die for, he wore more provocative clothes than Baekhyun, he smokes every day, not only in clubs. But Chanyeol has no problem for it. And when he was in club with Sehun, he always makes sure that he flaunted Sehun well for everybody to see that Sehun was his. He never also has any problem on people for ogling Sehun, and Sehun himself looked kind of proud for it.

Today was no different, he was hitting the club with Sehun. However today, he felt tipsy way too soon, and when he asked about it, Sehun just smirked at him and gave him more drinks. Seriously, the devil must have spiked his drinks. If you have Sehun as a boyfriend, you must be ready for unpredictable happenings twenty-four seven. Shaking his head, he decided to go with the flow, hitting the dance floor and be wasted.

But just a moment before he was being wasted, he saw a petite figure wrapped in a see through black shirt that glimmers every time the lighting spot it, the guy has a fiery red head, inhuman inviting grey eyes which looks like a sorceress, which was kissing and grinding with a taller person, well, not taller than Chanyeol himself, and seeing the stranger enchanted him. The beautiful guy was far across the room he couldn’t see much, it was only glimpse after glimpse, and for a moment he thought he was crazy, because he felt that person was very similar to his ex-husband. That was absolutely not Baekhyun, right?

__________________________________________________________________

“Look, Yeol, I’m not the type who console. But I’m the type you could have fun with and forget about your problems with. But, actually, I already tried to console you.” Sehun stared at him blankly with his sharp eyes.

“Huh?” Chanyeol furrowed his brows.

“It’s been three weeks, you have been kinda off. You know when did it started?” The younger gave him a challenging look.

“I know, Hunnie, I just need a person to listen to my thoughts. Look, I only have you, I left my husband. Well, okay.. ex-husband, for you! You, Hunnie. And all of my friends must have hated me because how I treated Baekhyun, because no matter whom you’re telling my story to, even the most stupid ones know that I’m at fault. And I just need to rant. I need to talk my heads out. Because Baekhyun’s been missing.” Chanyeol said, frustrated. “I’m okay with the whole breakup. No.. not okay, I’m happy, Sehunnie, happy for leaving him and having you instead, but I’m worried, because it’s Baekhyun, he’s gone. Nobody has heard of him.” Sehun rolled his eyes and cupped Chanyeol’s face.

“He’s an adult. He’s older than me, Chanyeol. What the hell could have happened?” Chanyeol avert his gaze from his lover, his eyes crinkled.

“This is the first time I don’t know anything about him, it makes me feel weird. It just doesn’t sit right with me.”

“He’s your ex, you don’t need to know everything about him.”

“It’s Baekhyun, Sehunnie, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol said in increasingly higher pitch towards the end of his sentence while shaking his lover’s body back and forth. The younger just sighed.

“Look, if I don’t know better, I will think that you haven’t move on.” Sehun said and slapping his lover’s hand out of the grip.

“Look, I’m worried, not because I still love him, but I care for him, as a human, who has humanity. He never pulled this stunt. He might suicide and nobody knows.”

“You met your friends three weeks ago, maybe they reached out to Baekhyun already, asked around if it really makes you feel unsettled.” Sehun said in an impatience tone.

“How could I ask my friends around, you want me dead or what.”

“You’re being too dramatic. Then just contact the guy.” Sehun said and he walked to the luggage Chanyeol dragged with him upon moving together with the younger.

“Hey, hey, easy what are you doing with my stuff!” Chanyeol asked with eyes widened, seeing the younger rummaging his luggage.

“Passport.” Sehun mumbled.

“What?”

“Passport!” Sehun said louder. “Because I had given you plenty of great blowjob, and sex, I dragged you to a club and it didn’t work, so take a week of annual leave, we’re leaving in a week to Japan.” Chanyeol just shrieked.

“What? How about your uni?” Chanyeol asked.

“I got a holiday starting next week, semester ended. Let’s go next week.” Sehun said while still busy rummaging his lover’s stuff. Chanyeol approached him and hug him gently.

“I didn’t see your passport.” Sehun shot him a look. Chanyeol moved closer to his luggage and try to find the passport but it’s not there. Damn, Baekhyun arranged all of his documents, including his passport, even his birth certificate, suddenly he didn’t feel good.

“Uhh.. can we go domestic?” Chanyeol asked and smile sheepishly.

“No, I want Japan.” Sehun pouted.

“Look babe..”

“JAPAN!” Sehun sulked. Seriously, who thought having a Chaebol as your boyfriend was good for you. Sehun was incredibly spoiled.

“I think.. my passport might have been with Baekhyun.” Chanyeol scratched his nape and avoiding Sehun’s glare.

“I don’t care, I want you in Japan, in a week, for a week.” Sehun said as he pushed his lover at his chest, making his uselessly tall boyfriend tumbled and fell backward. Chanyeol chased after him and hugged him.

“Hey, honey, are you mad? Are you.. Jealous?” The taller asked. “Don’t be mad.” Chanyeol said again and pecked his nape.

“No, why should I be mad or jealous? I just want to be happy, and you having something to think about, acting kinda off is affecting me on being happy myself. It’s irritating.” Sehun said and shrugged him off. Chanyeol kinda baffled by Sehun’s word. Wasn’t it weird for his lover not feeling mad or jealous towards the whole ordeal?

__________________________________________________________________

Baekhyun was concentrating on doing his design project, the due date was soon. He really needs to submit it fast to the client; however, he was not happy by the designs so far. He has asked for his housemate opinion but Kai only nodded and said all of the design is good. No. It’s not good. Kai just didn’t have a sense of art, and he seriously didn’t know whom to ask. Usually he asked Chanyeol, but yeah, divorce happened. He sighed, and decided to distract himself with his phone instead. But maybe it was a wrong move because when he lit up his phone, a notification popped up.

From: Husband Yeol

_Hey, Baekhyun._

He widened his eyes and he felt his heart drop. Seriously he can’t really predict what kind of tone that Chanyeol used on that ‘ _Hey, Baekhyun.’_ Is it a flat one? A concerned one with a low voice? A mocking one? Fuck, he thought too much just from a message of Chanyeol calling his name, and seriously, he needed to change the guy’s contact name. This was not healthy. Maybe ignoring was a good idea, he needs nothing from the man anyway.

Trying to distract himself, he was back to his design but his head was not cooperating, rather than working, it was more fitting to say that he was now spacing out. He then grabbed a can of beer and Kai’s cigarettes, to smoke and drink in the balcony. He didn’t really smoke outside of the club, but with the mental state he has now, he thought that smoking might be a good idea.

While lighting his cigarettes in between on his thin lips, his phone vibrates again, he glanced at it while doing the first puff.

From: Husband Yeol

_Baek, sorry to disturb you at night.  
How are you? Are you doing well? Are you busy?  
Btw, was wondering if you have my passport with you._

Baekhyun closed his eyes, inhaling his cigarettes again. Without checking, he knows that Chanyeol’s passport was with him, on the document folder that he brought in one of his luggage that he dragged to Kai’s place. Without replying his question about his situation, he just replied shortly with _‘Yes, I have your passport_.’ He bet Chanyeol didn’t really care about his well-being anyway, it’s just an opening talk to get his passport. Chanyeol replied to him immediately.

From: Husband Yeol

_Do you have time tomorrow? Coffee maybe, as I take the passport._

Baekhyun was close to say that he will post the passport, he didn’t know why the hell he said yes to Chanyeol to meet the following day, just for giving the passport. Oh, and actually tomorrow is 6 May 2020, he’s having a birthday. Why he has to meet his ex on his birthday.

_____________________________________________________________

Baekhyun hated himself. He said yes to meet his soon to be ex-husband, but seriously, why should he have said yes. Now he was calming himself. He truly didn’t know if it’s a good idea for meeting Chanyeol. He’s not ready, he was sure it’s going to be so awkward. Will he bring his lover? It’s going to be a lot worse if Sehun was there. He was going inside a coffee shop near Chanyeol’s workplace, and it’s nearly 6 PM, who the hell drink coffee that late, seriously it’s going to be an awkward meet up.

Going in the coffee shop, he spotted the tall man right away. At first, he could see that Chanyeol couldn’t recognize him but after it strikes to him that the man in front of him was Baekhyun, he stared at Baekhyun openly.

Actually, it’s understandable for Chanyeol not to recognize him, he dressed up way differently than the Baekhyun that Chanyeol knew after all. What will Chanyeol think about his new appearance? He bet Chanyeol hated his red hair, as he already emphasized several times for Baekhyun not to change his hair color. He awkwardly cleared his throat.

“Baekhyun-ah.” Chanyeol said, still eyeing him openly. 

“Hey, how have you been?” Baekhyun said softly, uncertainly. He actually feeling like kicking himself. He should have been more confident, but seeing Chanyeol was weird, it’s the first time in both of their lives not seeing each other for more than one month.

“I’m.. good. I’m good.” Chanyeol said and cleared his throat. “How have you been?”

“I’m trying new things in life, Yeol. It’s been good.” Baekhyun offered him a sincere smile, well, he’s not lying, he was good these past four months, he was not in a depression, he was trying to live his life while trying to move on from the man in front of him.

“I thought you look good in black, but you look great on your red hair and what’s with your outfit. You hardly wear jeans because you said it’s uncomfortable.” Chanyeol complimented and avoiding Baekhyun gaze. The smaller know that compliment was real, because Chanyeol looked shy saying it out loud. It brought smile on his face.

“I’m single now, you know, gotta look attractive.” Baekhyun said and laughed heartily. But Chanyeol have this strange look on his face and he gave out a forced laughed that Baekhyun could see very well that it was forced.

“Yeah, single.” Chanyeol mumbled and smiled at him. Before Baekhyun could think too much about why that smile seem so bitter, a waiter came and put his favorite drink to the table.

“I.. ordered it for you, wish you don’t mind.” Chanyeol said.

“I don’t mind, it’s still my favorite, and you always order for _us,_ I never mind that.” Baekhyun said and he suddenly regret he said it. There’s no _us_ anymore, he felt like self-palmed himself.

“Oh, and by the way, here’s your passport. Where did you want to go?” Baekhyun open another conversation in a fast manner, wishing Chanyeol not giving any comment on the _us,_ he uttered earlier.

“Sehunnie was having a semester break. He wanted us to go to Japan for vacation.” The moment Chanyeol said it, he was cursing inwardly. Must he say that to Baekhyun openly? Like, ’ _hey, I was going with the guy which I cheated on with to Japan.’_ But the reaction he got from Baekhyun was unexpected.

“Have fun, you’re going to Japan in the end?” Baekhyun said teasingly, without remorse on his voice. It made Chanyeol’s stomach flipped. Going to Japan together was their promise. They promise to go to Japan together when they have enough money. It’s ironic when they have enough money, they were not as loving anymore, so naturally they just never go.

“Baek, I’m sorr—” Baek cut his word so fast. Chanyeol’s pitiful stare was making himself felt so pathetic.

“Don’t say it, I’m okay. Just be happy.” Chanyeol just nodded. Baekhyun felt that this was really the end. At last Chanyeol was leaving him for another man, he even went to Japan, the place that Chanyeol really wanted to go. He really needed to let Chanyeol go. Maybe it’s best to say his closure right now, so he could redeem himself.

“Hey, Yeol, you know? I think we married too fast. You are a great person; it sucks to lose you after a lifetime together. I hope, you know.. when we get over this, we could at least be friends.” Chanyeol surprised at Baekhyun’s words.

“Be happy. I’ll be searching for happiness too, and maybe I’ll try having a blind date and whatever shit I never did on my youth. Don’t hurt Sehun, he’s still young. Don’t cheat. Love sincerely.” He said while telling himself not to cry. This is the end. He was letting go.

“I wish we could be friends too, when we get over this.” Chanyeol said, he didn’t know why but this was sadder than their divorce talk four months back. “Wish you well, Baekhyun. You are a great person, I’m just a jerk. You deserve better.”

“Until we meet again?” Baekhyun said as he stood up, and offer him a hand. Chanyeol shook his hand and watched Baekhyun leave. Chanyeol wondered, why the hell it hurts now when he was numb every time he cheats on their marriage and when they talk about the divorce. But then Chanyeol shook his head. He tried to focus with his current lover and the vacation he’s going to go.

But that day, Chanyeol realized one thing. The red-haired man which enchant him on the club weeks ago, the one who grind to another man. He was sure it’s Baekhyun. And he didn’t know what he’s feeling.

In the other hand, Baekhyun really realized that there was really no hope with Chanyeol anymore, it’s his birthday, but it seems like Chanyeol were not realizing it, he didn’t even give a birthday wish, it never happened before. But seriously going part ways with Chanyeol were never happened before too. Now he was looking so happy with his new boyfriend, he even going to go to Japan with Sehun, the city that they promised they will go together.

At least he got closure, on this birthday, he promised himself that he will try hard forget Chanyeol. This year, he’ll try to let go, and maybe, he will soon be brave enough to search for a new love. For now, he would like to throw a sudden birthday party for himself. Him, Kyungsoo and Kai will be enough.

_____________________________________________________________

**1 November 2020**

“You’re cute.” The man across him said.

“Ah, no I’m not.” Baekhyun said while shyly dismissing his words.

“How do you feel about today’s date?” The man asked him and he was taken aback, because he didn’t know what he said, this is not a date he enjoyed. This man in front of him sure was straightforward. He cleared his throat.

“I enjoy spending time with you.” There, he gave the white lies. The man was too bold for Baekhyun’s liking, and he sometimes could see that he was ogling at Baekhyun as if he stripped him with his eyes. It’s creepy.

“So, you don’t mind if I took back to your place?”

“Uh, Taecyeon.. I think.. Uh, I’ll be more comfortable to go home on my own for today.” He then gave a confident smile. The man across him scoffed.

“It’s okay if you are not attracted to me, it’s just a blind date from dating apps anyway.” Baekhyun immediately feel guilty and sorry.

“I don’t think I’m that comfortable? Look, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. So, if I’m not your type of person to date, are you willing to invite me sometimes on your cold lonely nights?” The guy smirked and Baekhyun was close to freak out.

“Oh, _shit,_ no, nonono. I’m sorry I’m not searching for that kind of release.” Baekhyun smiled awkwardly. He then opened his wallet and leave some money.

“Look, I have to be somewhere, it was a nice date. Have a nice day.” Baekhyun said and hurriedly he left the table. When he was out of the table, he couldn’t feel more relieved. It was his fifth attempt on attending a blind date. Some was fun, some was so so, some even creepy like today. But he still didn’t get the one who could make him felt the click, and Kyungsoo, together with Kai was always encouraging him and teaching him about the pick up lines, how to act coy, etc.

He was actually enjoying this. He never dated anybody besides Chanyeol before, and when he was with Chanyeol, actually they were being themselves so he didn’t have the opportunity to hit up many pick up lines, or acting coy because come on, it’s too cringe.

After seeing Chanyeol the last time, which is six months ago, a lot has change. Now he was more open to the dating opportunity, he was accepting fully that Chanyeol was not in his life any longer. Although once in a while, he would remember Chanyeol that will bring a bittersweet smile on his face, at least he hoped no more and believe they were separating for the best.

“How was the date this time?” Baekhyun heard Kai asked while having Kyungsoo on his side, cuddling onto him while watching the TV lazily. Just like always, every time he went back to Kai’s apartment, the guy always asked about his date.

“Bitch, it’s creepy as fuck. Man, I felt like he was stripping me with those eyes.” Baekhyun said in disgust. Kyungsoo just laughed out loud.

“Well, Baek, blind dates could be sucks sometimes. Later, later you’ll find the good one.” Kyungsoo said and gave an encouraging smile.

“It’s okay, at least I’m happy to be able too.. you know.. having some experience.” Baekhyun said.

“Yeah, exactly, you were dumb in this whole dating thing, to think that you were 26? What the fuck so weird.” Kai said and Baekhyun just rolled his eyes.

“Dickface.” He muttered and left Kai and Kyungsoo. They were having a relationship around three months after they met. Baekhyun was opposing it at first, knowing that Kai was a player, but seeing how serious Kai was in the relationship, he eventually gave them the blessing. Kyungsoo seemed happy, and that’s nice to see, Kyungsoo was having a sleepover too often and he started to think that he better moved out, but they opposed. Saying that Baekhyun could stay there because it’s fun to have him, and they could help with the dating life. Seriously, he knows that was not the reason, they were just too nice and he’s grateful.

He was seeing himself in the mirror now, tracing his own face with his fingers. He had re-dyed his hair becoming soft pink, and seriously, he felt even more confident because he seems cute, even if his personality was not. All of a sudden, Kyungsoo barged in his room and he jumped back comically.

“Fuck, you scared me.” He said, but Kyungsoo just shoved his phone screen to his face.

“What do you think of this guy?” Baekhyun frowned and shoved his hand back a bit, Kyungsoo put his hand too close, resulting him for not being able to see the man on the screen clearly.

“Why?”

“Of course, I’m going to set you up together if you thought that he’s okay.”

“What? Hey, hey slow down, I’m taking this nice and slow.” Baekhyun said and patted Kyungsoo’s chest.

“He’s a nice guy, he has a stable job, he’s a music producer. Look, even his face is gentle right?” Baekhyun crossed his hand in front of his chest.

“Okay, who is that?”

“He’s my old friend, we were classmates on our middle school days, the name is Jongdae. He is new in town, well, you’re just give me your green card, right?” Kyungsoo smirk cheekily. Baekhyun sighed in resignation.

“Look, Kyungsoo, he is your old friend, do you really know him? You never even mention him in front of me even once.”

“The last time I met him was like a year ago, we’ve been in contact ever since. And why should I talk to you about my friends. You’re not even my boyfriend.” Kyungsoo smacked his shoulder and Baekhyun just let out a hiss.

“Come on, he’s a nice guy! If it didn’t work out just fine, you guys could always be friends.”

“Okay, just arrange the shit. You won’t back away anyway.”

“You won’t regret it, Baek.” Kyungsoo said and pecked his cheek. He pushed the smaller guy in disgust and grimaced.

“Yuck!” He made a face and rubbing his cheek that just been kissed by Kyungsoo, whom dashed out of his room already.

_____________________________________________________________

Baekhyun couldn’t believe himself, after meeting Jongdae, the guy who had been set up for him at a rather quiet cafe, the man dragged him to an arcade. Now he was playing a fighting game together with the other man.

“Fuck, I’m gonna kill you.” Baekhyun said while putting his tongue out in concentration. Jongdae just shook his head and chuckled while restlessly punching the controller. Baekhyun ended up losing and Jongdae just patted his shoulder softly.

“Baek, you’re cute.” He said to a heaving Baekhyun. The man just scoffed but blushed.

“Once more?” Baekhyun asked, eyes were pleading.

“No. No. I’m going to take you to walk in a park instead, just relaxed. No more playing.” Jongdae grinned and Baekhyun just pouted. Then they went out of the mall and went to the park. It was nice with Jongdae, it felt as if he’s there with an old friend, fooling around, not being his timid blind date self.

“Okay so, what do you think about the date?” Jongdae asked with a hopeful tone.

“Well, it’s nice, it’s not like the typical blind date I thought it would be. It’s fun, Jongdae.” Baekhyun smile widely, he was really enjoying himself.

“Yea, right? We don’t know what we’re going to be in the future, but enjoying ourselves are the most important, rather to sweet talk, not being yourself, and yeah.. But it’s nice having this date with you.”

“I know, if I should have known about our agenda, I won’t wear my tight-fitting jeans. I’ll wear my comfiest jogger pants.” Baekhyun said and lightly punched Jongdae’s arm.

“You can do, next time. I think you’ll still be cute.”

“Hey, you said you don’t like to sweet talk.” Baekhyun teased.

“Ya! I don’t like it when I lied. I’m being earnest. You’re cute.” Jongdae said and Baekyun looked down at his shoes while giggled.

“I was thinking, because you said you have some interest on music as well, how if on the next date, we’ll have a light lunch and get to my studio to see the music I’ve work on?”

“What? No way, it’s cool. I mean.. seriously? You are about to get a stranger to your studio?”

“You’re Kyungsoo friend, you are not a stranger, and yes I think it will be fun. What you say?”

“Okay, sure. Wow, shit, it’s going to be cool.” Baekhyun was excited. Jongdae was chatting with Baekhyun while they stroll at the park and this was the first time, he truly felt click with another person who was not Chanyeol. And he was truly happy.

_____________________________________________________________

**26 November 2020**

Despite of what Jongdae promised him, taking him to the studio on the second date, at last it never happened until today, and today was the nth time of their dates. Since the first time they met, they had met rather frequently. Sometimes they even went on a double date with Kai and Kyungsoo. It was nice, their chemistry was not forced, they joke as if they were best of friends, not really as a guy who hit up on him which spouts countless nonsense hit up lines. He loved Jongdae’s style of courting.

On some day which he didn’t feel like going because of some deadlines, Jongdae will still come to his apartment to accompany his distress self, and will give a useful opinion on his designed, unlike the useless Kai who will only nodded and said everything was good. Well, maybe because Jongdae was an artist himself, so he kind of understand arts, and it’s a major plus point for Baekhyun.

They have not done anything, maybe only holding hands and occasionally Baekhyun snuggle to him while watching TV, but seriously they have been taking it nice and slow, that was what Baekhyun’s happy with, like they’re going steady, but not too fast.

“Okay, so, my studio was small, for real, it’s not big. It’s basically looked like a studio apartment. It’s kind of untidy too.” Jongdae gave him a heads up as he stood just outside his studio’s door, looking rather nervous.

“Come on, you said it’s your favorite place, it won’t be that bad.” Baekhyun said and he crossed his hand, obviously impatient.

“Look, if you don’t feel comfortable, we could just leave, okay?” Jongdae asked, obviously being nervous. Baekhyun just rolled his eyes and pushed at his chest.

“Come on, Dae, open the shit already. I’m sure I’ll not hate it.” Jongdae just scratched his nape and slowly opening the door of his studio.

Well, it’s certainly something that Baekhyun never see, his studio was cozy and simple there’s a mini kitchen on your right as you enter, a sofa and tv on the middle of the room, and the rest of the space was occupied by a PC, some keyboards, violin, cello, guitar and bass. The walls were mostly covered by pin board, with numerous music pages pinned on it. But after being awed, Baekhyun understand why the man was so unsure of letting him in, because the music pages were covering his working table, some on the keyboards, some on the floor. Okay. It was a mess.

“Wow this is fucking cool.” Baekhyun said as he looked around the room. “Well, very freaking untidy, but cool.” Baekhyun adds again and smiled widely at the bashful Jongdae. He then looked around the music pages that scattered all over the place.

“Well, okay, you can’t possibly understand how to read that, don’t pretend to look around and analyze my music pages.” Baekhyun clucked his tongue.

“I’m right now was composing a song, kind of need your opinion. Care to listen?” Jongdae asked hopefully and Baekhyun nodded.

“Wow, I’ll be the first person listen to this shit, whom will you give this piece to?”

“Jieun-ie asked for a song, so I’m writing for her.”

“What the fuck, Jieun, as in.. IU?” Baekhyun asked wide eyed, which Jongdae just dumbly nod in uncertain expression. “Uh, yes?”

“Oh my God, she’s like my favorite singer! Wow if this song will really be sing by IU, I am like the first person to hear before it launched.” Baekhyun half yelled in excitement. Jongdae was only ruffled his hair and pulled him close to his computer screen.

“Listen first, okay? You have not even listened to it.” Jongdae said and he put it on play, Baekhyun loved the song, moreover if it’s IU, his favorite singer who will sing it, he felt that it’s going to be amazing. After it, Baekhyun was introduce to Jongdae’s past works and project, there are a lot of different genre too, and he was having fun on the studio.

The last one, Jongdae was showing of to Baekhyun about doing loop station and it amazed Baekhyun fully. Jongdae was one talented man and he was happy to witness. His face looked so serious and full of passion which made Baekhyun eyes sparkle while watching the man. When he was done looping, he asked sheepishly about how Baekhyun thinks and he really didn’t know what came to him but he softly pecked Jongdae’s cheek like a school girl.

“You look cool.” Baekhyun said and chuckled. Jongdae then kissed his lips fully, he didn’t know how or when but they traveled to the sofa and continuing making out until they were out of breath and when they break their kiss, they stared to each other and smiled.

Even after Jongdae was sending him home, he was still smiling. This might be the first time he kissed and made out with somebody on his sober mind after the separation with Chanyeol, and he was happy, because he loved it, and he was sure that he was finally ready to let go.

Just when he smiled by himself while snuggling on the blanket, his phone’s notification rings. It said ‘Yeollie’s Birthday’. Baekhyun just rubbed the screen softly with his thumb while smiling, remembering how Chanyeol will sulk if Baekhyun was not the first person who said Happy birthday to him, that's why he put on the ringer every beginning of 27th of November, just like now, the clock has just strike twelve. It gave him a nostalgic feeling unexpectedly, without the bitter taste, maybe because Jongdae has saved him from his heart broken state?

Opening the messaging app, he go to Chanyeol’s chat and he write a very simple message. Because they were ex, but they were friends first, and they promised to be one after they are both ready. Baekhyun was now, letting Chanyeol know that he was ready, to be friends with Chanyeol.

To: Husband Yeol

_Happy Birthday, wish you will be happy this year too.  
Hope you can spend this day happily._

Baekhyun press send and he change his name from _Husband Yeol_ to _Park Chanyeol._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I decided to post another fic with not so docile Baekhyun. As you might know, I'm having another fic with Baekhyun acting so docile on 'Home, a Four Letter Word', I would like to write a different Baekhyun and that is how I came up with this one. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy, and don't worry it will end on next chapter, and with happy ending.  
> Please give kudos and some warm words to keep me motivated.
> 
> Love ya all.
> 
> And if you want to know what Loop is, please check out this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0F83O8qdOhY


	2. Chapter 2

**27 November 2020**

 _Birthday._ Chanyeol thought bitterly. These days everything passed by so fast and actually he didn’t even realize that he has a birthday, today, earlier, his phone notification light up, and it’s from his ex-husband.

From: Little Baekhyunie

_Happy Birthday, wish you will be happy this year too.  
Hope you can spend this day happily._

A bittersweet smile latched on his face, Baekhyun without fail always be the first person to wish him a happy birthday. He looked at his left which Sehun was watching TV together with him, even when he had a new boyfriend, Baekhyun still beat him.

Deep in his heart, he kind of wish that Baekhyun was here with him, this has been going on for months, him missing Baekhyun, wondering how was he coping up, has he got himself a boyfriend by now? And it was strangely made an unpleasant feeling. In his head, he was also replaying his last meeting with Baekhyun, with his fiery red hair and fitter clothes. But wasn’t it normal for people missing their ex? And they were together for a long time. Of course, he will miss his ex, it’s a phase.

“What are you staring at?” Sehun asked with his usual expressionless face.

“Nothing, it’s midnight already.” Chanyeol said, his heart was hopeful.

“Oh, wanna sleep?” Sehun asked and the taller just smiled while shook his head. Maybe Sehun will gave his wishes tomorrow.

________________________________________________________

Expectation was truly not a good feeling when the reality didn’t meet. It was 2 PM already, Sehun and him already woke up since 10 AM, since it was weekend, they woke up a little late, and Sehun still not saying any words about his birthday wishes. Contrary to Baekhyun, he would treat him like a king on his birthday, even if the night before they have a big fight, the smaller will make sure that Chanyeol has the best day ever.

His thought was interrupted by a loud ring of his phone, it’s from his Mom. He picked up the phone and a merry warm voice greeted him. After he was saying a millionth thanks of the greetings, his Dad said some words for his birthday too, the call must have been on loudspeaker mode.

“Darling, where is my lovely Baekhyun?” His mom asked and his body went rigid. Damn, they never talked to their own parents about the divorce. What should he do? He cleared his throat.

“Hmm.. Baekhyunnie is out for a bit Mom.” He said nervously.

“Ohh, I wonder what he’s doing, maybe he will surprise you?” His dad said suggestively.

“Yeah, he never left your side on your birthday. You’re lucky to have him, dear.” His mom added and now Chanyeol felt like shit. He just forced a laugh.

“I initially would want to send you a seaweed soup, but you said Baekhyun’s taste better than mine so I decided not to send you.” His mom said while teasing him. Strangely, he felt like he was punched in the gut. Usually even if he bragged that his ex-husband’s Seaweed Soup was the best, his mom still sent him some with delivery services. This year his mom was not sending him, in the same time, Baekhyun was not making him any seaweed soup. It was sad.

“Yes, Baekhyunie’s of course the best.” He tried to said enthusiastically.

“Ungrateful kid.” His dad muttered.

When the call ends, Chanyeol tried to collect himself and he saw Sehun stared at him.

“Oh, you have a birthday today?” He asked and approached his boyfriend.

“Happy Birthday ChanChans.” Sehun said cheerfully and hugged him tightly. “Sorry, I forget.” He then adds without any regret, it was so obvious that he didn’t mean it.

“Let’s order seaweed soup. Which restaurant is your favorite? Oh, and should I buy you a cake?”

If it was Baekhyun, when he woke up in the morning, the strong smell of seaweed will have already invaded his nose, he will latched onto him when he woke up and kissed him softly. Then at night, Baekhyun will always prepare a bottle of alcohol for the celebration with his self-made cake. The Alcohol will be different for some years due to their changing preference, but the cake will not change, it was always tiramisu, because that’s the only cake Chanyeol liked, and so that’s the only cake Baekhyun learnt to make, because Baekhyun hated baking and it was really apparent he only make effort for Chanyeol.

He let out a sigh, even if he knew that it’s not fair for him to compare Sehun with his ex-husband, the man who has spent their whole life together, but it pains him that Sehun was so nonchalant with him.

“Why don’t you answer me! Tch.” The younger clucked his tongue. “Okay whatever I will buy you a seaweed from my favorite restaurant and the cake, I will order a Black forest.” Chanyeol just eyed him silently, he hated Black Forest, it was listed as the thing that he hated.

“I don’t like Black Forest.” He said softly, as if in defeat.

“But I like it though, okay I’ll order a chocolate cake instead.” Sassily Sehun decided without asking his boyfriend opinion. Gently Chanyeol pat Sehun’s head and caressed his cheek.

“Do you..” He said with a sorrowful eye. Sehun was just eyeing him strangely. “Love me?” The taller continue. Sehun just smirked and pecked his cheek.

“I’m happy with you, don’t you feel happy with me?” Chanyeol avert his gaze.

“Happiness is what matters Chanchan. You just need to feel happiness.”

________________________________________________________

He was never been more thankful of Sehun until this moment. His boyfriend was far from suffocating, he gave him so much liberty, well, maybe too much. Sehun always feel that he and Chanyeol was a different person, which has different needs and friends. He never even once pried on Chanyeol’s life and friends, never asked to go to Chanyeol’s circle of gathering. Today Chanyeol was going to meet Junmyeon and talk about all of his messy thoughts lately which most of it involving Baekhyun.

The moment he meets Junmyeon, the man greeted him as the ‘free man’, referring on his recent divorce with Baekhyun and it hurts more than he thought it was. As the night deepens, and alcohol gave more courage on him. He started to do speak his mind to Junmyeon.

“Hyung. How’s marriage feels for you?” Chanyeol said out of the blue.

“Mmm.. It’s bittersweet? Like it’s not happy all of the time, we bicker most of the time, most of it are trivial things like how I made our room messy.” He stopped for a while and chuckled, reminiscing on his head of his little wife scolding him like a little kid. ”Sometimes, it felt suffocating because she wants to know what I am doing, she wants to be in my every move on big decision involving her.“ Junmyeon looked at Chanyeol intently.

“But Marriage was like that? Isn’t it? It’s annoying most of the times, but it’s home. It felt safe, it’s like an insurance that she will always be there even if I fucked up, and it’s nice. In good days, she makes me the happiest, in the worst she makes hell out of my life.” Chanyeol heart clenched at the explanation. He had that with Baekhyun. But he threw it away.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Chanyeol muttered under his breath but Junmyeon caught it. He patted the younger’s shoulder to give encouragements.

“Baekhyun, isn’t it?” The taller decided not to reply on it. “Most of Soulmates doesn’t meet, and even if they met, doesn’t mean they will end up together, some just accept reality and let each other go due to circumstances. Yours and Baekhyun’s case is different though, it went up smoothly.”

“Yeah, until I fucked up.”

“Yeah, until you fucked up.” The elder repeated in a softer voice.

“I miss home.” Chanyeol stared blankly while chuckling bitterly.

“You miss Baekhyun.” Looking at Chanyeol’s misery, Junmyeon couldn’t help but feel bad even though the one at fault was obviously the taller.

“Yeah, I miss Baekhyun.” The two man was sharing a comfortable silence while drinking their alcohols.

“I know I’m an ass, and I thought missing Baekhyun was a phase, but no, actually my infidelity, including Sehunnie is a phase.” Chanyeol said while messing his own hair. The older just look at Chanyeol silently, encouraging him to continue.

“Baekhyun was always there, as long as I’m remember we were together every moment of our life. He was my first best friend, my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first everything. And I got curious, I feel like I’m trapped with him. After I marry him, I felt happy, but it’s stagnant you know? Like.. It’s nothing new. It’s Baekhyun, it’s getting boring and I feel I want to experience something new.” His eyes started to water but he didn’t care. He wanted to let this feeling out, he’s in misery, there’s no point of him hiding it anymore.

“I saw my friends having one-night stand, having fun at clubs, fooling around, I realized it’s something I never gone through. By that time, Baekhyun was the only one I’m having sexual intercourse with. And I got tempted, I fool around, I cheat, I had sex with different people, and found a new boyfriend. And even when Baekhyun discovered it, being disappointed and so broken when he knew, I disregard it because I like the adventure, of my infidelity.

“What makes you regret?”

“Because he left me, and since then on, I am truly free, it was foreign but fun. Sehunnie is easier, he doesn’t pry much to my things or problem, he doesn’t have much rules, the sex was great but it’s not home. I miss the little fight I have with Baekhyun, I miss him when he pried on my things, when he tidied the room while grumbling because I’m not as tidy as him. When he punched me awake at night because I secretly lower the temperature and made him freezing. I miss him. It’s home, it’s not perfect. But he’s my home. He listened to my problems, we tried to solve things together, we are a partner.” He didn’t care anymore by how his tears rolled down his eyes, and he probably looked unmanly and ugly. It didn’t matter. He missed Baekhyun, everything hurts.

“Baekhyunnie never called me after your divorce. But I’ve heard he’s keeping contact with Kyungsoo. Before I met you, I kinda asked Kyungsoo about him.” Chanyeol snapped his head at his hyung, interested on the topic.

“He’s coping up better that I thought. Kyungsoo said that recently he is happy. He’s different now, appearance wise and deep down inside, he was also different now.”

“I met him months ago to take my passport, and yeah, he looked slimmer, like a good slim, he’s lean now. He dressed up differently, he dyed his hair red, and his eyes were gray. I never see that ‘Baekhyun’”

“It’s the same as what you are experiencing, Yeol. He never has anybody but you, his life revolving you, and the last three years he was becoming even more passive in your marriage, since you started to have your adventure and cheat, he tried to agree most of it because he’s scared that you leave him. But now he left, he has all that freedom. I think he tried to discover himself. It’s good to see he has a life.” Chanyeol didn’t want to talk more about it and just kept his silence. If he could rewind the time, he could, he won’t even try to cheat. Baekhyun was enough, he’s always enough.

“I think this will make some blow for you, but Yeol, I think you need to know. One of Kyungsoo’s friend is hitting up on him, and he was giving positive response so far.”

“Yeah, I will never ask him to be back anyway, I’m not worthy of him. I just regret all of my shit that I’ve been put up for him. He made me promise that when we’re ready, we’re going to be friends again, because it’s weird to have each other gone while we are always together for all of our life. Maybe that’s enough.. Well, no.. It will never be enough. But it’s better than not having him at all, you know.” Chanyeol said and he gulped his drink eagerly, making the other man anxious. He was never seen Chanyeol this broken, and he’s getting impulsive, there’s also no Baekhyun to control the taller.

“Is your divorce process done already?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you officially divorce?”

“Baekhyun left me, Hyung, of course w—” Junmyeon hit the back of his head once.

“Have you signed the divorce paper?” Chanyeol widened his eyes in surprised for the question, it looked pretty stupid in the older opinion’s, the lanky tall guy, having tear strained face, and wide eyes, it’s comical.

“You haven’t.” Junmyeon concluded by himself. “He’s legally still your husband. But yeah, you can’t be an ass and dragged him forcefully to be your husband again either.”

“He’s still my husband.” Chanyeol said in disbelief, the sight was stupid from Junmyeon’s view.

“Yes, rascal, he is. Yeol, life is too short to be spent in sorrow, and we only live once. Fight for whatever you want to. If you still love him, just win him back.” The younger just shook his head, feeling embarrassed of himself.

“Come on, before it’s too late. You know why first love almost always never work?” Seeing the younger shook his head again, he continued. “Because it happens when both usually were far too young, and of course both are still childish, so they naturally fucked up. But you and Baekhyun don’t. You guys prevails and that’s amazing. But yeah, I believe you have to fuck up at least once, that is how people learn to love better and to treat each other better, the more you fail the more you learn. However, you guys were failing in the second step. Which is surviving the calm, resting state which everything was known and plain, nothing new, it bores you. That’s why you cheat.”

“I’m not worthy of him, it doesn’t matter.” The younger tried to push it away.

“You are his soulmate, if you make mistake, you realized, you want to change. If you can make him happy, you still think you are not worthy of him?”

________________________________________________________

Although he was not a big party person, Chanyeol was throwing a week late birthday party, he invited all of his circle and Baekhyun. This party was actually made because he missed Baekhyun. This was Junmyeon’s idea, it’s also for him be really sure of what he want and if it’s all real, then yeah he was going to break up with Sehun and get his husband back, he didn’t want to make a commitment that he is going to break, so he need to be really sure.

When he met Baekhyun today, he literally have to fight himself not to hug the smaller, he looked so fluffy, his hair was pink now, contrasting to his soft look, he was wearing a sleeveless and black ripped jeans, giving a bad boy vibe and he was significantly leaner, his biceps was toned. The biceps though, he never thought Baekhyun will be able to pull of that ‘look’.

To everybody’s surprised, Baekhyun actually came and was trying to be normal in front of Chanyeol, he wished him happy birthday again and asked about his life. The others were just asking about Baekhun’s life as the smaller pretty much lost contact with most of them except Kyungsoo.

“Well, I was sorting my life, I guess.” Baekhyun scratched his nape, feeling awkward for all of the attention he got.

“Damn, we were surprised, we had a gathering some months ago, inviting Chanyeol.” Xiumin said.

“Yeah but only him come, apparently you were not part of the package anymore, dude. Wow.” Yixing said and Junmyeon nudged him, after all he knew that Chanyeol will feel hurt hearing it, even though it was really his fault.

“Why are you nudging me, it’s the truth?” Yixing said as he widened his eyes and shrieked at Junmyeon. All of them just shook their head and giggled, Yixing just never grew up and it’s funny.

They all just talked between himself but Chanyeol was of course having his eyes on the one whom he missed dearly. Baekhyun was whispered by Yixing who sat next to him and he laughed while hit the guy.

“God, you already have a boyfriend again!” Yixing half yelled and Baekhyun covered his mouth desperately, but seeing they had caught some attention, Kyungsoo, chose to made some statement for salvaging his best friend’s pride in front of his ex-husband.

“You’re late Yixing, Jongdae is a really a decent man, I think he succeed on sweeping Baekhyun off his feet. Right, Baek?” Baekhyun just cleared his throat and avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes that trained on to him. Damn, this is awkward, he felt like he did something wrong even if actually he’s not. Chanyeol just gave Baekhyun a longing look. Why did he seem so far away?

Trying to hide his own feeling, he interacted with everyone in his best mood, even talking to Baekhyun in his most normal way, he thought. But what’s normal with Baekhyun? Normally he would be beside him, circling his arm lazily on his small waist or put one of his hand on the smaller’s thigh. They usually also whispered some inside jokes. But yeah, he tried to treat Baekhyun as his any other friend right now. It hurts nonetheless.

When they wrapped up the gathering, almost everyone left, just Chanyeol who stayed because Baekhyun was still there, waiting for Kai to fetch both him and Kyungsoo. It was surprising for Chanyeol that Kyungsoo could be together with Kai, he met the guy twice and he really didn’t like the man, too wild for his taste. He grimaced at the information that Baekhyun was living together with Kai, but there’s nothing he could do though.

“Yeol, you can leave, you know? How if Sehun wait for you for too long?” Baekhyun asked, there’s no hint of resentment at his voice, but of course it didn’t make him feel less guilty.

“Never mind, it’s fine.” He said gently. Then he ruffled Baekhyun’s pink hair and he gave a sincere smile that curled his eyes.

“You look cute, like cotton candy, this suit you more than the red one.”

“Stop it.” Baekhyun said bashfully. “Oh, Yeol, talking about it. I’m thinking.. you know about the friend thingy. I think I’m ready to be friends with you. It’s weird to have you by my side since forever and had you vanished. So if you are ready too, one day.. we could grab some coffee?”

Friends, it’s far than enough. It’s not what Chanyeol wants, but if that’s how he could get close to Baekhyun then he thinks friends was enough.

“Cool, we could grab some coffee, maybe this Wednesday? It’s public holiday.” The taller said quite hopeful, he could actually saw Kyungsoo scowl at the end of his eyesight but seriously, he didn’t care. Baekhyun was what matters.

“Ok, I’ll text you.” At that moment, Kyungsoo was tapping his shoulder. “Kai came already bitch.” Baekhyun then shifted his head and saw Kai, but he was startled to see that Jongdae was there too. He smiled at the man and hugged him lightly.

“I didn’t know that you came.” Baekhyun said cheerfully.

“A little surprise is good once in a while.” Jongdae said, and Kyungsoo cleared his throat, trying to get Baekhyun’s attention. When Baekhyun finally see him, he then looked back and forth to Jongdae and Chanyeol, trying to give him a clue to introduce them.

“Daedae, this is Chanyeol.” Baekhyun then gestured. They shook hands.

“Jongdae.” Jongdae said with a sincere smile. At this moment, Chanyeol felt very dejected. He saw from the moment Jongdae came, seeing how Baekhyun welcomed him, hugged him, looking so happy because the man come, it hurts him. It’s the same man that used to give him that warmth, that hug, that sincerity in his eyes that showing love and happiness, but now it’s for someone else.

“Chanyeol, I’m Baekhyun’s ex-husband.” The taller said and it made Baekhyun awkward and baffled while Kyungsoo shot him an interesting smirk. He didn’t care really. The hell of what he should do or not, not when he’s this sad.

________________________________________________________

Sehun know that something was off with Chanyeol. He didn’t know why and not willing to ask. He was not the one who believe in relationship that last forever, so he just let it flow. This morning, Chanyeol was acting rather awkward and the younger just act as if he didn’t notice.

“Sehun-ah. Can we.. talk?” Chanyeol asked cautiously, the taller was not having any appetite since the morning, he was still thinking about the last night encounter with his ex-husband. Chanyeol felt like a scum now, the younger was having his hand crossed while sitting in front of him, looking at him intently. Well, Sehun could be intimidating when he wanted to, he has a cold resting face.

“Look, Sehun, I think that you’re.. a great guy, like you are fun to be with, and.. and---” Sehun sighed and cut his dialogue.

“It’s ending isn’t it?” The elder was dumbfounded by the younger nonchalant tone.

“Oh, God, I feel like an ass.” Chanyeol facepalm himself in frustration.

“Take it easy. It’s fine. Why though? You got someone else?” Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, what does he meant by that?

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Well, nothing last forever, it was fun with you while it last, you are fun when you don’t overthink. But I am not a primary guy you see, I’m the escapade, the one that you could have fun with, the one that you could be with when your primary guy are too complicated. Since you left Baekhyun, I’m the primary guy. Being the primary guy is boring, it’s not risky, it’s stable, it’s not fun. That’s why you’re searching for another flame, right?” Sehun explained in a calm manner and Chanyeol has a heard time to digest his words.

“Look, I don’t understand what you mean. So, is that your conception of relationship? Like… Oh my God, please tell me I’m having the wrong idea. Are you always being the second guy? And you’re fine with that?” Sehun just shrugged and Chanyeol were speechless.

“People just need happiness, we started because you wanted to be happy, because you feel lacking of your marriage, and it’s challenging, I loved feeling challenged.”

“Wow, Sehun.. That’s… that’s sick. Why on earth you have that kind of conceptions?” Chanyeol questioned him again with a disbelief look and Sehun was frowning now. They were both not understanding the situation they were in.

“Sehun, you shouldn’t think of it that way. Look, do you love me?” Even without Sehun answering, Chanyeol already predict that the younger will be either confused or straight out say he didn’t love him. In this relationship, Chanyeol never felt loved. Sehun was a good companion, but he was too nonchalant, he was too self-centered, he never got jealous, he never really makes some effort for him.

“I could have some fun with you, we’re fun, that’s enough.”

“Life is not only about fun. It will end someday. I didn’t have anybody to turn to, I just need to break up with you because I realize missing Baekhyun is not a phase. I love him.” Sehun was frowning hard now, he didn’t understand what Chanyeol was saying. “Our love was so understanding and plain, it’s alive, but it’s not sparkly, so I got bored. He’s the only one that I’ve been with all my life, and seeing others life, which they fool around, have some fun, switching partners once a while makes me feel curious. So, I did this, and I deeply regret it, Hunnie. He was home, even if it’s plain and boring, even if we bicker and fight.. He was home.”

“Yeol, so you break up with me, to go back to your primary guy, like.. what?”

“He might not have me back ever, but I’ll try.” Sehun’s gaze at him was now very judgmental. All of a sudden, Chanyeol just realize that his relationship with Sehun was so shallow, it’s fun, but shallow. He didn’t really know who Sehun really is, despite having a relationship nearly two years with him. He never knew that Sehun was always the second guy because he preferred to be so, and he felt pity for the younger, he was wondering what happened to the younger, what made him having this fucked up thoughts?

“Hunnie, be the one, the primary guy. Love deeply. Why be the second guy? One day you will meet a guy who will love you, and just waking up next to each other will makes you feel grateful for living.” The younger scoffed.

“It will never work. It’s okay, I’m contain with my way of living.”

“It will work someday. You have to believe.” Chanyeol tried his best to convinced Sehun, but the younger was very obvious still skeptical about it.

“Is it about your parents?” The older braved himself to intrude the younger’s privacy. But Chanyeol desperately want Sehun to understand and change, because he never knew that Sehun has this fucked up thoughts and he can’t settle with it. Even if he didn’t love him as he love Baekhyun, but he cared of him.

“You tell me.” He replied while rolling his eyes. “My Dad was cheating with a woman, then he got divorced with mom. Apparently, my Dad said he was happier with the woman, so he remarried, and my mom just suicide several years after, as she was too in love with my Dad.” Chanyeol shivered as he learnt about the younger background, instantly, he felt pity towards him.

“When she died, my Dad didn’t care though. I don’t want to be my mom, I’m happy as my way of living.”

Saying nothing, Chanyeol approached the younger and hugged him on the waist tightly. It’s too pitiful. Sehun was surprised by Chanyeol but he said nothing, just letting him be.

“God, it’s not supposed to be like that.” Chanyeol said and he dragged chair to sit next to him. He took Sehun hand on his, grasping on it tightly and he looked at the younger earnestly.

“Look, it’s not right. It’s a trauma, you gotta be treated, or your conception will not ever change and it’s wrong. You won’t be truly happy. I mean look at me, I lost Baekhyun, now I want to come back to him, because I love him, and I’m too stupid not to realize that. Love existed.” Sehun just sighed in resignation.

“Promise me, you will go to a psychologist.” Sehun’s face hardened and he pulled his hand from Chanyeol’s grasped.

“What the fuck, I’m not sick! I hate them, they thought they were a better person, they will judge me, I hate them.”

“I know a guy. He’s my friend, Junmyeon, we can go together, I promise you he won’t judge you. Come on, you really need to go.” Sehun was looking at Chanyeol intently, he was pissed, but he was also curious of the situation, of how Chanyeol wanted to go back to Baekhyun. Will going to a psychologist really work?

“How about I make an appointment with my friend, for you, and we could come together, and if you hate him, then… I will grant you a wish.”

“So, it was like a bet?” Chanyeol nodded, and the younger’s eyes glimmered. A challenge, a bet, he liked it, plus he was also curious, and him going will not cost him anything. And he agreed.

________________________________________________________

Chanyeol was extremely happy because Baekhyun want to go out with him. First, Baekhyun was going to shop, because he felt like it and Chanyeol’s going to tag along, then they could do whatever.

“You have different choice of outfits now.” The taller said as he observed the clothes Baekhyun was choosing.

“I’m changing my wardrobe selection, it looked better, don’t you think? It’s bad to choose comfort over style all the time, making me unattractive.”

“You are attractive though.” Chanyeol muttered lowly, he made sure Baekhyun couldn’t catch it. He looked at Baekhyun which eyed the clothes back and forth between some options. The taller cleared his throat and he took the clothes to his hand, making it his personal hanger for Baekhyun to have a better look. It was what Chanyeol always do while they’re shopping, but now, Baekhyun didn’t expect that Chanyeol will do that to him, he eyed the taller dumbly.

“Come on, it’s better to see it from here.” Chanyeol motioned him to look at his hand direction, which holds 4 clothes that Baekhyun tried to choose. The smaller regained his composure and scratched his head. Chanyeol know that he couldn’t choose. Baekhyun always need a second person opinion on everything that he bought.

“You have something similar with this one, just in a slightly lighter color, so I supposed, don’t choose this one.” Chanyeol put the shirt back to where it originally located.

“For this one, I think it’s a bit.. too tacky and bold, it might suits you, but it’s not really you.. so no? I guess?” Chanyeol put back the shirt and Baekhyun just watched Chanyeol interestingly. It’s been to long since he was with Chanyeol, and the way Chanyeol shares his opinion just brought back the nostalgia.

“I can’t choose between this two.” Chanyeol point at the last two options. Baekhyun laughed and the taller was a bit taken aback, it’s scary, why was Baekhyun laughing out of the blue. He furrowed his eyebrows and gave a questioning look.

“It’s funny, I forget how efficient it is to shop with you. My personal hanger.” Baekhyun smirked, but when he realized ‘ _my personal hanger’_ might sounds too possessive, he averted his gaze and cleared his throat, while the taller was grinning happily.

“I can’t choose between both too. I mean, this one is not too stylish, but is comfy as hell, and this one just seems so cool.” Baekhyun said while touching the material of both clothes, his body proximity was actually very close with his ex-husband, as he lent his arm for hanger purposes. Even if his hand started to feel stiff for being Baekhyun’s personal hanger, he wished the moment won’t end, because Baekhyun was maintaining a close proximity with him that he could smelt his shampoo. God, he missed Baekhyun. He really wanted to hug him.

“Buy both.” Baekhyun turned his head to face him with disapproving looked, he slightly pouted. Chanyeol was close to groaning, he was holding himself not to kiss the smaller.

“No, I will overbuy, I buy 4 outfits per month, this should be the fourth, not going to buy 5.” Chanyeol lower down his arm and dragged Baekhyun to the cashier.

“I’ll buy the other one for you.”

“What? Why should you? No, seriously.” Baekhyun tried to fight and pull his hand from Chanyeol. The taller let go of the smaller hand and ruffled his hair.

“Come on, it’s fine, I’ll buy the cheaper one.” He stuck his tongue out and as much as Baekhyun want to fight for him not to spend his money on him, he felt pissed at Chanyeol want to buy the cheaper one.

“What a cheap man.” Baekhyun scoffed and pushed the taller jokingly. Chanyeol just chuckled, he secretly checked the price and gave to Baekhyun the cheaper, so he could buy the more expensive one. While there are still around 2-3 persons in front of them, Baekhyun thought about it again at felt bad about it. Chanyeol was not his husband anymore.

“Hey. You don’t have to buy for me. But thanks for the thoughts.” Baekhyun smile widely and tried to take the shirt from his ex. Chanyeol tightened his grip on the shirt.

“Come on, as the start of friendship?” Chanyeol asked hopefully, it pains him to offer ‘friendship’ with Baekhyun, but what else should he said to Baekhyun, that was the only thing possible with them. Seeing Chanyeol’s persistence and the friendship card. Baekhyun nodded and said thanks.

The shopping took more than they thought because Chanyeol was also dragged Baekhyun to get his groceries. He moved out from Sehun’s apartment and went back to his old apartment which he used to stay with Baekhyun, and he needs to buy a lot, as the apartment was vacant for almost a year.

“God. At this rate, you should at least buy me a dinner. Shit, it’s tiring. Why are you buying a lot of things anyway?” Baekhyun grumbled and the taller’s heart leaped, he knows that Baekhyun might not mean it, but he blurted out about dinner, it means he could spend more time with the smaller. At this rate, seriously, Chanyeol will take any chances he got.

“You drive here?”

“No.”

“Perfect, let’s go to our go to restaurant, then I’ll get you back to.. wherever it is.” Chanyeol said, just realizing that he actually didn’t know where his ex lives.

“God, it’s a joke, you don’t have to really buy me dinner, Yeol.” The taller caressed his arms and smiled at him earnestly.

“But I want to, let’s get dinner, I’m starving.” At the smile and soft voice that Chanyeol uttered, Baekhyun was starting to contemplate if being a friend with Chanyeol is a good idea.

________________________________________________________

It was weird, being with Chanyeol, it was easy, and fun, and everything just fits. Baekhyun was feeling happy having Chanyeol back in his life by being his friend, maybe it was best for them to be just friends anyway, why the hell he had to marry the guy and damage everything? Baekhyun thought bitterly. As nice as the day spent with Chanyeol, he felt like the day must ends because they have done their dinner and it’s late.

“It’s late, we should head home, what will your boyfriend said?” The smaller teased with a smile, the later felt his heart clenched painfully, it was like a wake-up call that Baekhyun was not here and this is only a friendly date.

“He’s pretty chill, don’t worry.” He waived his lanky hand to shrugged the statement, but the smaller’s kick on his shin below the table surprised him.

“What the hell, it hurts!” Chanyeol glared at him.

“You hang out with your ex-husband; how can he be fine? He might try to understand, but I don’t think he didn’t feel dejected.” The smaller chastised him. “Don’t make him sad, he’s also quite young.” Baekhyun added and sighed. The taller just bit his lips, he really wanted to say that he broke up, and told him how he felt, but seriously, he didn’t want Baekhyun to push him away and refused to befriend him, so he will shut his mouth for now.

“How about yours?” Chanyeol asked in attempt to distract the conversation from his non-existent relationship.

“We were not together-together, yet, but Jongdae makes me happy, and.. and I liked him a lot, he’s a great guy. So no, I don’t think he will be possessive over this, not that he has the rights too. At least not yet.” The way his eyes twinkled when he talked about Jongdae, the way that he blushed a little talking about him really hurt Chanyeol.

“Yeol, can I ask a question? But promise me, be honest about it.” He just nodded at the request.

“What’s the thing that I could fix for me to.. maybe have a better relationship? You know? Uhh.. Fuck, this is awkward but, I really don’t want to fail for a second time and you.. you are my ex, so you sorta can give me some input, right?” Baekhyun asked meekly, he was also moving his feet a lot, a sign which means he was extremely nervous. Chanyeol would like to laugh, Baekhyun was perfect, well he’s not a perfect human being, but he’s perfect for Chanyeol.

“I wish you could confront me when you know I cheated.” The smaller widened his eyes in confusion, clearly taken aback with Chanyeol’s statement.

“I know that you know since the first time I cheated, but you never confront me, you kept your silence until it broke you and only by that time, you talked to me about it. But even after I confessed that I cheat, you were just so forgiving. So lenient.” Chanyeol chuckled bitterly and looked at his ex with longing and teary eyes.

“Don’t be so forgiving, it makes people takes you for granted.”

“Will it make any different?”

“I think so, I might be a little scared of you, also feared of losing you, and I might not take you for granted. You make me feel that you will never leave, Baek.”

“Well, I guess I’m scared. What if I confront you and you leave me?” Sorrow could be detected in Baekhyun’s voice, and Chanyeol felt like the worst man on earth. But Baekhyun quickly tried to salvage the heavy vibe, he chuckled a bit and said. “Hey, but it doesn’t matter, don’t say things as if you still love me. I might misunderstand.” At that moment, Chanyeol just know, that he wanted to confess, for whatever consequences he might face. Because he wants Baekhyun to know, that he regrets everything.

“I broke up, with Sehun.” Chanyeol stopped and observed Baekhyun’s expression, the later gasped and Chanyeoll sighed.

“Look, I’ve been with you forever, Baekhyun, literally, all my fucking life. And you’re perfect for me, I believe that you are my soulmate, if soulmates really exist. What we have is deep, we understand each other very well, even just with exchanging looks. And it’s fucking boring, because what we had was plain, there’s nothing new, same old, same old, there’s no challenge, there’s sparks between us, there’s still love but it’s not the exciting kind of sparks, like I can predict everything out of you…” Baekhyun listened intently and his face saddened.

“I’m curious, Baek, I was never with anybody else. Seeing other people fell in love, being all sappy, broke up, searching for new love, having a new love again, fooling around, just makes me curious so I cheated. It’s stupid, at one point I believe that we married to fast, and out there it was just so exciting, why should I be committed to one person too early? But no, Baek, I regret it, you’re the best for me, because even if you’re not perfect, you are home.” Fat tears dropped from Chanyeol big eyes. Baekhyun was staring at him blankly, he didn’t know what to feel. He was surprised, what should he say to Chanyeol?

“Baek, you don’t have to say anything.” Chanyeol reassured him and wiped his tears, as if he understood that Baekhyun was contemplating hard in his brain upon what to say.

“I don’t expect you to come back to me just because I confessed. I just want you to know, that I love you.” His voice started to tremble again and he paused for a while. “That I regret… That I would give everything, everything just to rewind the time and never cheated on you, never took you for granted… I’m truly sorry.” It’s too much to take for Baekhyun, unknowingly, his eyes started to watered to.

“Oh, God.. I.. I don’t know what to say.” Baekhyun said and Chanyeol smiled knowingly with tears on his face, as if telling him that he knows that he will say that and it’s okay.

“Your parents gave me a very loving birthday wishes. I guess you haven’t told them about us.” Chanyeol chuckled and wiped his tears again.

“Oh, my, I forgot to tell them. It just slipped out my mind.” Baekhyun said and felt a little panic, these months he was too focused on self-discover and self-improvements and he just forgot.

“This is December, and as usual, we have to spend Chrismas with my family, and New Years with your family. Unless we divorce, because technically we haven’t divorce, Baek.”

“No, we divorced already.” Baekhyun said, with a stern voice.

“Where’s our Divorce Decree?” Baekhyun was silenced with the question and Chanyeol gave him a smug smile.

“I don’t want to be an ass and force you to our family gathering. What I request is your reconsideration of our divorce. Please, reconsider. If you are sure you want to divorce, please.. please tell me before Christmas, so we could explain to our respective parents.” The taller’s gaze were hopeless and desperate, Baekhyun gulped at the sight.

“Yeol, I…” Baekhyun frowned and Chanyeol grabbed the smaller’s hand in his, he kissed the back of the hand gently.

“If you want to divorce me, it’s really okay too, it’s my fault after all, and I really don’t deserve you back. Just please, reconsider, because I realized that I don’t want to lose you, but by today, I realized that rather be your friend, I better died instead, so.. I want to know my next step, husband. It’s 9 December, you still have several days to think about it.” Feeling his head hurts so bad, Baekhyun massaged his temple. He couldn’t deny that when Chanyeol called him husband, it still created sparks in Baekhyun’s being.

“Yeol, I want to go home. And.. let me grab a cab, I need space.”

________________________________________________________

**18 th December 2020**

Chanyeol was gripping his phone hard, it’s 18th of December, it’s seven more days to Christmas. His love hasn’t got back to him and it drove him crazy. He was contemplating hard if he should contact Baekhyun and remind him of giving a feedback, but he didn’t want to. The moment he asked Baekhyun, he was 100% sure Baekhyun will want to divorce him. At least now, Chanyeol could still deny the reality and said that Baekhyun was his husband, because technically he still is.

It was late at night, around 10 PM, he was having his third glass of whiskey on his and Baekhyun’s apartment, he was at the dining table, the very dining table that Baekhyun cried and asked him for divorce. He looked around the apartment and smiled bitterly, it felt different when his husband was around, it used to be full of life, but now it’s empty, he didn’t even turn up the lights. He really missed him.

His job distracted him a lot from the thought of Baekhyun, auditor got really busy as year ends approached. He was working like crazy these past weeks, but now everything was done, he will have holiday from tomorrow onwards, and there’s absolutely nothing blocking his mind from thinking about the smaller guy.

Every year, on Chanyeol’s last day of work like today, Baekhyun always treat him special. He would massage him, and drink wine together just for celebrating at Chanyeol which had worked hard for the past weeks. They would cuddle and catch up afterwards, as Chanyeol has no time for the younger when the work got crazy, he usually came home at 10 PM at the earliest since December starts. The first holiday day, he will have a lazy day with Baekhyun, cuddle until noon, have a ramyeon for lunch and binged on some Netflix series or play online games all day which Baekhyun loved so much.

Tomorrow, however, he will have no Baekhyun snuggled on his chest, forbidding him to come out of bed, he will have no Baekhyun which order him to cook ramyeon because he was so lazy to do it and tried to make him cook for both of them, claiming that Chanyeol made the best ramyeon, there will be also no fights on picking Netflix series to binged on. He felt like dying, it’s his first heartbreak, and he knows now why for some people, heartbreaks made them suicidal. He didn’t want to suicide, he was not that immature, but the immense pain that he has just overwhelming. Every day, when he woke up, he felt his heart hurts, it was almost as if it was hurt physically, as he could feel as if someone was gripping his heart hard to the point of breaking.

A notification sound chirped and he looked at his phone in a hopefully.

From: Little Baekhyunie

_Let’s have the divorce._

Chanyeol stared at the bright phone screen at the dark room, feeling his soul left him at the message. He was saying earlier that he didn’t feel suicidal because he wasn’t immature, but now he took it back. He felt there’s no reason to live, he really wanted to die.

________________________________________________________

**22 nd December 2020**

Kyungsoo was frowning as he saw a post from a delivery man for Baekhyun. Not everyone knows this is where Baekhyun lives as of now.

“Hey, bitch, for you. I wonder who sent that, seem so formal.” He tossed the envelope to the man.

“It’s probably Yeol, it’s our divorce request form.” Baekhyun said as he still busy picking up the right outfits for his date. Jongdae will come at any time right now. Kyungsoo was observing Baekhyun carefully.

“Are you okay?”

“Why not?” Baekhyun shrugged as he found the new hoodie he just bought and intend to wear. It’s comfortable, but he was contemplating to wear it or not, because it was the outfit which Chanyeol bought at their last hangout, and wearing it for dating with Jongdae felt weird.

“I mean you’re with Chanyeol for as long as you live. Just want to make sure.” Baekhyun huffed and wore the hoodie that Chanyeol bought for him.

“I gotta move on, Soo. Life must go on. Chanyeol is not right for me, what we have, we couldn’t amend.”

“Yeah, he’s an ass.” Kyungsoo said with resentment and Baekhyun chuckled. He knew how much Kyungsoo hated Chanyeol, he didn’t even bother to tell him about the friendly date that he had with Chanyeol and the fact that the younger was apologizing and crying in front of him. It didn’t matter, he will put his marriage and Chanyeol in the past.

“Jongdae is better. Like a lot better.” Baekhyun said while opening the envelope and look at the divorce request form in a glance, the younger has signed it. He quickly put it in again and take his wallet.

“Ciao, my date’s here. See you, have fun with Jongin.”

________________________________________________________

Baekhyun was not stupid, he was not a virgin. After almost two months seeing Jongdae, and doing nothing just a heavy make out creates a suffocating sexual tension. They were having a lazy day on Jongdae’s apartment, cuddling against each other in bed while watching film. When the film ends, they found out how close they were, staring at each other intently, Baekhyun started to leaned in and kissed Jongdae’s lips teasingly. Jongdae smirked and pinned Baekhyun down on his back and deepened the kiss. Baekhyun felt he’s aroused and moaned when Jongdae broke the kiss. Their breath was heavy, Jongdae was caressing Baekhyun’s side, inside of his hoodie and Baekhyun jolted, he bit his lips in want.

“Dae.” He said in a low voice and gripping the other’s bicep. Jongdae started to lean down and ravage Baekhyun’s nape and collarbone, with one of his hand groping Baekhyun’s ass cheek. The later circled his hand around Jongdae and embraced him tightly.

“Can I not stop, today?” Jongdae whispered at Baekhyun’s ear and the later nodded. They were making out and getting undressed. When they’re both naked, Baekhyun was looking at Jongdae’s naked body above him shamelessly, and smiled at him. His heart was pounding hard, he looked down at his body, seeing his naked self in front of Jongdae made him oddly uncomfortable. Jongdae was kissing him again and playing with his arousal. The moment Jongdae touched his dick and played with it, it was like a wake-up call for Baekhyun. That this is real, that he’s going to make love to other man and it’s not Chanyeol. He tried not to think too much and be preoccupied with the kiss, but his mind was still in chaos. He could feel his dick will soften in any second, because he no longer enjoys it. He then switched his position with Jongdae, and pinned him down. He kneeled in front of him and tried giving Jongdae a blow, a blowjob usually made him more aroused, so he tried to give a blowjob instead.

“Oh, God, Baek it’s good.” Jongdae compliment him the moment he sucked his member. Baekhyun closed his eyes and tried to picture Chanyeol in his head. He felt his dick stirring alive again.

“Baek.” Jongdae called his name gently and Baekhyun realized that it’s not Chanyeol all over again, all of the desire that he felt wilted again. He pulled away from Jongdae, he sat up straight and looked at Jongdae with expressionless eyes. He shouldn’t think of Chanyeol at all while having intercourse with another man. But he can’t, it felt wrong. He can’t do it.

Jongdae sat up and wiped his tears. Baekhyun was surprised, he didn’t even know that he’s crying.

“Hey, don’t cry. What’s wrong, Baek?” Jongdae cooed at him and hugged him. Baekhyun pushed him away.

“I’m sorry, I can’t. I don’t know why, but it felt so wrong.” Jongdae smiled knowingly and ruffled his hair.

“It’s okay, Baek. So, you just felt like you can’t?”

“I thought I moved on; we were taking care of our divorce as of now. But it was like he was appearing in my head and.. God.. I’m sorry. Maybe I just need time. I’m really really, sorry.”

“You can’t push it, Baek. It’s okay. You haven’t moved on, and that’s fine.” Jongdae stood up and start to get dressed, Baekhyun was doing the same. When they were done, Baekhyun was sitting at the edge of the bed, and Jongdae was standing in front of him, they looked at each other. Baekhyun’s face so gloomy and his eyes were glassy, his thoughts were a mess and he really didn’t know what he wanted. He thought he wanted Jongdae. But certainly, it’s not the case.

“I was never getting my hopes up for you.” Jongdae said as he cupped Baekhyun’s face and pecked his forehead, just to calm the other down.

“I knew that you just had your divorce, and I might have heard some stories from Kyungsoo, I know it was a deep one. I’m just getting with the flow, and I thought you followed the flow. But you’re not.” Baekhyun avert his gaze, he felt really guilty.

“Seriously, I know you didn’t mean it. Let’s be a good friend.” He nodded in agreement, besides, what else should he say?

“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun said in a very low voice.

“Let me take you back.” Jongdae said and encouraged him to stand.

________________________________________________________

He continued to cry when he was back on Kai’s apartment. It was weird. He thought he was fine, he thought he was okay without Chanyeol, he discovered his new self, he loved his new life. But seriously, the intercourse with Jongdae was like a wake-up call, and suddenly, he missed Chanyeol, he yearned for him. Where did this feeling came from? Just this morning he felt okay, is this what people called with being in denial? Is he on denial and convinced himself that he’s fine when actually he was not and now the feelings just drowned him?

Baekhyun then get down of his bed and reached the divorce request form that his ex sent. Pulling it out, another small envelope was hidden inside the big one. He took it out, it was a letter.

_Dear Baekhyunnie,_

_God, I hardly write you letter because it’s just cringe. It’s embarrassing in a way, but Baek, I might not have the courage to say it all to your face, so fuck with it, I’m writing you a letter._

_I’m preparing myself now, I’m writing this letter on 17 th December 2020, you haven’t given me your decision, but I know that you’re not mine anymore. You could never understand how deep my regret is, but it doesn’t matter, I’m just truly sorry for hurting you with my infidelity, even if I know you have forgiven me, like you always do. Actually Baek, you shouldn’t forgive me. You should hate me. I’m the worst, I hurt you the worst. You shouldn’t forgive me._

_It’s hard for me to say this, I never thought I will have to say this, but I’m saying my goodbye to you. Goodbye to your hair which tickled me at night and often wake me up. Goodbye to your bites when you lost an argument and decided to wound me a bit (I think you’re cute that way, btw!). Goodbye to your nagging because I’m not as tidy as you want me to. Goodbye to you who always greets me when I’m home, tired after my work for the day. Goodbye to my favorite person, who always gets me no matter how crazy my idea sounds, who always supported me. Goodbye to you, who always know how to handle me no matter how hyper, happy, sad, depressed, or angry I am. I won’t meet any person who can match you, Baekhyunnie. I love you._

_Baekhyun, I still remember the first time we met. We were five, and you were crying because our classmates were comparing your hands and said that it’s pretty. Some bully said it’s like a girl and you were called girly until you cried. I instinctively approached you and be attached to you on the hip ever since. You’re cute, I always think so. Even when we were little, I’m already drawn to you._

_I also remember when I felt confused of my own feelings when I hit 13. Because sometimes I couldn’t look away from your face, sometimes when we were having our frequent sleepover, instead of sleeping, I often couldn’t sleep, feeling too nervous because of whatever reason I don’t know. It’s stupid, really. It took me 2 years to realize, and confessing my love to you. As greed consumed me, I cannot be just friend with you, even if I might lose you due to the confession._

_I still remember you cried upon the confession, saying that you felt the same but too scared to confess. When I teased you for crying, you act tough and hit my chest. “Something went to my eyes! I’m not crying. Dumb Yeol.”_

_You know, I still remember how you’re pissed on our teenager days because you stay short and I grew magically tall. Deep down, I hope you will not be too tall because I love it when you have to tilt your face to look at me in the eyes. My prayer was heard, Baekhyun-ah. I’m sorry, I might be the reason why you’re short._

_I had moved in our apartment again. I still remember when we dreamt of having our own apartment since our high school days. I remember you always encourage me to spare some money ever since. God, it’s a long time ago. I remember when we first bought this apartment. The moment we entered our apartment, we became so hyper because it felt so unreal, we made love there, while it’s still empty, without even one furniture around us. And we laugh afterwards, as if we had conquered the world. I love you, Baekhyun. I’m sorry for the pain. I truly didn’t deserve you._

_I know we supposed to sell this apartment and divided evenly upon us for the divorce settlement. But Baek, please let me have it. I will pay your share. Even if I won’t have you for the rest of my life, but I want to cherish it. This apartment was where we shared a lot of our best moments, even if there’s the worst too, but I want to cherish it all. Please let me have it._

_These days, sometimes I’m imagining you here, with my oversized shirt, looking so cuddly, waltzing everywhere, nagging, and cutely ordering me around because you’re too lazy to do it. Baekhyun, I missed you._

_Baek, I wish you happiness. You deserve the best, you, who shine brighter than anyone else. I’ll pray for you every night. You have to meet somebody who loves you and treats you well, who’s loyal to you and won’t break your heart like me. Please don’t be so forgiving, sometimes you’re too nice, people will take you for granted.. like me._

_Seriously this letter is already too long. It wasted too much of your time. But please, please be happy. Your happiness is mine too. If I can’t have you for the rest of my life, at least I had you in the first quarter of my life. You’re the best thing happened in my life. Sorry once again for everything. I’ll love you forever._

_Forever yours,_

_Park Chanyeol_

Baekhyun was hiccupping, he was crying hard, he missed Chanyeol too. He realized that he loved him deeply, he just be in denial for far too long, saying that he loved his new self he discovered, loving the blind dates, starting to like Jongdae, but seriously, he’s not Chanyeol and everything was only a distraction. He grabbed his car key quickly and ran out of the apartment.

“Kai, I don’t think I’ll be back tonight.” Baekhyun said as he walked pass him, and the taller man was just stared at him confusedly.

“Yah! Where are you going?” A slammed door was answering him and he shook his head.

________________________________________________________

Baekhyun was pounding on the door, he knew that the bell was broken and neither he or Chanyeol cared about it and they didn’t get it fixed, and now, he was regretting it very much.

“God, wait! Stop pounding at my door.” Baekhyun heard Chanyeol yelled from inside of the apartment, he freezes and his heart pounds so fast. Hearing the door was opened, Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol with teary eyes. He really missed his husband. Chanyeol looked tired, his eyebags were black, his hair was messy, and he was gapping now, clearly surprised that Baekhyun came out of nowhere to their apartment. Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol inside and hugged him tight.

“Baek.. What’s wrong.” Chanyeol said softly as he caressed the smaller’s man hair whom was hugging him and wetting his shirt. He then carefully wrapped his hands on Baekhyun, could he embrace him now? He was scared on crossing the line. But Baekhyun’s hugging him though.

“I hate you.” Baekhyun said, voice muffled in the taller’s chest.

“I’m sorry. I really am. Baek.. What happened?” Louder cries replied Chanyeol instead, Baekhyun was hugging him tightly, but explain nothing. It confused Chanyeol, he still didn’t know the reason on why Baekhyun was Baek’s here tonight.

“Baek, talk to me. I’m getting scared.” Chanyeol tried to pushed Baekhyun away to look at his face, but Baekhyun tightened his grip and started to hiccup. He always hiccupped when he cried too hard.

“Let me get you a warm water first. You’re hiccupping.” Baekhyun softened his grip and let Chanyeol go. He felt the taller stripped his winter coat for him, then he walked to the kitchen to get his cup of warm water. Baekhyun sat at the couch while crying sorrowfully.

“Baek.. Hey, Baek what’s wrong?” Chanyeol tapped his shoulder and gave him the warm water for Baekhyun to drink. The smaller forced himself to drink the water while his ex-lover was patting his back carefully.

“Stop crying, you will have a headache and complaint for it.” He tried to teased Baekhyun while caressing his soft pink hair. Baekhyun stopped hiccupping and looked at Chanyeol wordlessly. It’s scary, he didn’t know what’s on that small head, and he was still refusing to talk. Chanyeol averts his gaze from his ex-lover’s eyes, feeling intimidated, he was surprised when he felt Baekhyun caressed his cheek gently and leaned forward to him. He tilted his head up and sat on Chanyeol’s lap to match his height. Chanyeol gulped down his saliva, it’s a gesture that his smaller one will kiss him, but he won’t, right? Why would he kiss him?

However, soft lips touched his own and kissed it gently, but the desperation was very obvious. He kissed Baekhyun back desperately wanted to show the smaller his feelings; how he yearned for him. He felt the smaller’s body trembled beneath him, Baekhyun was still crying and he could taste his tears on their kiss. Chanyeol would like to look at his face and see if he was okay. But Baekhyun kissed him even harder, not letting Chanyeol to break the kiss. When the kiss left them breathless and they let go, Baekhyun quickly buried his face on Chanyeol’s nape, hiding his face while nipping the expanse. The taller starting to feel various emotions on his heart, he was also started to feel aroused, what should he do? What did Baekhyun wants? He was so flustered. Feeling the taller frigid touch and not moving, the smaller stared at his eyes daringly.

“Take me.” He whispered to Chanyeol ears and trailed a kiss from his cheek to his lips. Giving another long kiss, Chanyeol tried to regain his conscience. God, this was so wrong. Baekhyun’s not his anymore.

“Baek, don’t.” He weakly refused. Baekhyun looked so dejected while gripping on Chanyeol’s shirt.

“Take me. Please?” Baekhyun asked in determination and Chanyeol found he didn’t care anymore, fuck to his conscience, even if it’s for one night, he would like to have Baekhyun.

________________________________________________________

Chanyeol was glad because he woke up earlier than Baekhyun. He observed Baekhyun’s sleeping face as he caressed the hair softly. What was the previous evening sex for? Baekhyun didn’t explain anything, they made love and slept in silence. He smiled bitterly. He didn’t know what will happen when his ex-lover woke up, maybe he will push him away and leave him in this apartment full of memories. But for now, before it happened, Chanyeol tried to cherish this, waking up beside Baekhyun, maybe for the last time. Feeling Baekhyun’s body stirred, he stopped caressing his hair, and his heart sank. The end of the nice dream was over very soon. ‘ _Goodbye, my little Baekhyunnie.’_ Chanyeol said inwardly.

“Good morning.” Chanyeol said with his deep voice, his voice trembled a bit even if he tried to greet Baekhyun with his smiley face, his tears fell down. Baekhyun didn’t missed the tears that dropped from his ex-lover face, even though he only got his eyes half opened. His eyes were swollen too.

“Morning.” He greeted back while looking at Chanyeol’s face. It’s full of sorrow, he felt sad on seeing Chanyeol’s sad face, it was not common for the later to feel sad. They both stared at each other without words. Chanyeol would like to asked him million of things but he held back, as long as Baekhyun hadn’t say anything, it won’t hurt him yet.

“You want coffee?” Chanyeol asked and he get out of the bed, clearly couldn’t hold back the tension and his tears anymore, without hearing any answer, he left Baekhyun on their bed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and quickly went to the kitchen to make some coffee for both.

Baekhyun was standing by the door frame of the open bedroom, he was looking at his ex-lover, making their coffee. He missed Chanyeol, and seriously, he didn’t know how to live without the other, even if he hurt him before. He was thinking hard if his decision will be the right one. His head started to hurt and he decided follow his heart.

“I’ll brush my teeth first; I’ll cook us eggs.” Baekhyun left and Chanyeol was feel even more uneasy. What’s the deal with Baekhyun? Was he really offered to cook breakfast? If he wanted to leave, it’s starting to get agitating, he might as well should just leave, because Chanyeol couldn’t take the suspense.

When the smaller was back while humming and about to get to the kitchen counter to cook, Chanyeol whom sitting on the dining table, gripped his wrist, and pulled him towards himself. He hugged Baekhyun on the waist and rest his head on his chest.

“Will you leave me, after this? Please, just tell me, so I could prepare myself.” He said weakly. Baekhyun heart clenched at how sad Chanyeol sounds. He caressed his back slowly and Chanyeol started to cry.

“Baek, I.. Oh, God, it hurts so bad.” He was sobbing at this point.

“I won’t, but let’s eat first okay? Then we’ll talk.” He was clearly surprised at Baekhyun’s statement. His heart started to pump excitedly. Baekhyun left his hug to cook for both and felt Chanyeol stared at him intently. He smiled, Chanyeol was nervous, he thought to himself. When Chanyeol was nervous, he will watch the person intently, hoping will get his answer as soon as possible. With his wide eyes, it looked like a dog waiting for its owner, and Baekhyun chuckled.

The egg was ready in no time, and Baekhyun gave one plat for Chanyeol and one for him, he sat across him. Baekhyun was taken aback when Chanyeol was blowing air to the egg, and he eat the sunny side up in one bite. His face looked painful, he bet his tongue was burning.

Baekhyun hit Chanyeol’s head and scolded him. “Of course it’s hot! Why would you do that?”

“Ah shit, fuck it’s hot.” Chanyeol said after he swallowed his egg and took his coffee urgently to cool it down, but it’s a hot coffee, before he could get his cup to his lips, Baekhyun covered his mouth with his palm.

“Stupid, it’s hot coffee, you’ll make it worst!” Baekhyun scolded again and he quickly brought a cold water to him. Chanyeol drink it while Baekhyun eat his egg slowly.

“I want us to talk, like, quickly. I’m dying, so yeah.”

“It’s impulsive and dumb.” Baekhyun glared. Chanyeol just kept his silence and wait patiently for Baekhyun to finish his egg. When he finished and finally sipping his coffee, Baekhyun started the conversation.

“Yesterday I was with Jongdae. We had a date; I went to his apartment.” Chanyeol balled his fist, it hurts to hear about the man that he loves, having a date with someone else.

“How could you do it?” Baekhyun asked with a broken voice and staring at him, full of sorrow. “I was about to get intimate with him, but I can’t, I kept on seeing you in my mind, and my conscience was screaming at me that it’s wrong, it’s not supposed to happen… So how? How could you do it?” His stares were accusing, it was sharp despite it was already brimming with tears.

“Then it dawns to me, that even if I tried so hard to convince myself that I’ll be okay, even if I tried to discover myself, even if I love the changes, the freedom, the wildness of being single, deep down, I love you. My heart was starting to break when it dawns to me that I want you. And I read your letter. I guess I was carried out by my emotion and went here.” Was it only because Baekhyun was carried out by his emotion that he went here? Chanyeol thought in his head. Then it means nothing then? Just an impulsive move due to an emotion? He lowered his head, didn’t want to look at Baekhyun anymore.

“What do you want to do?” Chanyeol asked in resignation, he knows he was wrong and didn’t deserve Baekhyun, so he was giving the smaller to choose.

“I’m scared, Chanyeol. I love you, and I want you. But I’m scared you will break me again. What will be left of me if I’m broken again with the same person?”

“I know it will be hard for you to put your trust in me. But I love you, Baek, I just realized everything when you left. It was as if I was searching for pretty shining things while I have jewel at home, which is you. It was dumb, it was my fault on taking you for granted, but I won’t again, Baek. Seriously. I have lost you and if I have the chance to love you again, I will make sure I won’t lost you again, I will treat you right.” Sincerity shows on Chanyeol’s eyes. Sincerity and desperation. “Please Baek, give me a chance. I won’t intentionally hurt you again. I will cherish and love you for the rest of my life.”

“It’s not a good idea, my rationality said that I could live without you, but my heart pleads at me to just have you back.” Baekhyun smiled bitterly and Chanyeol approached him, he sank low, kneeling beside Baekhyun.

“Chanyeol, what-“

“One last time, please, one last time, I will do my best this time, to make you happy for real. Please.. one last time..” Chanyeol said he gripped Baekhyun’s thigh and buried his head there.

“Get up, Yeol.” Baekhyun said firmly.

“Please.. Baekhyun-ah, once more.” He pleaded again while looking at Baekhyun straight in the eyes. His look was starting to get blurry due to the tears.

“You have to understand, this is not only trust, Chanyeol. It’s my lifeline. Please, don’t ruin me.” Baekhyun said softly and his eyes started to water too. “Get up.” Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol up, both were standing and Chanyeol was a sobbing mess and hugged him tightly, until he felt hard to breath.

“Yeol, I can’t breathe.” Chanyeol loosen his hug, but still sobbing.

“Thank you, I won’t upset you Baek.. God, I love you so much.”

After both was done pouring their longing and sorrow, they cuddled lazily on the bed, they would like to feel each other closely. Out of the blue, Baekhyun was remembering their family events on the Christmas and New Year.

“Yeol, have you told your parents about us?”

“Uhh.. no.. Yours?”

“No.. Never said a thing.”

“Uhh.. have you book the tickets?”

“No? I mean it’s your job. Oh, shit I haven’t booked the tickets.”

“It’s your parents that live out of town! We broke up, remember? How am I supposed to book it for you?”

“No, sorry, I mean usually it’s your job, so yeah. I forget.” Baekhyun saw him in disagreement.

“God how can you live without me.”

“I can’t, that’s why I’m so happy that you’re back, husband.”

“Shut up, start to search for tickets, we have to fly tomorrow for God’s sake, or maybe today, depend on the availability.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys happy with this fic. Yeay, I can't believe I finish this long ass fic.  
> Please drop comments and give me kudos if you like this one.  
> I'm sad to see this ends.
> 
> btw pls tell me if you cried! haha   
> bcs I am, and will feel achieved if you are too. 
> 
> Comment if you want a Sehun side story or an epilogue (I'm contemplating for it now) 
> 
> Thank you loves.


	3. Sehun's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter will focus on Sehun's back story and recovery, but you will get Irene and Junmyeon story, as well as a glimpse of Chanbaek.

“Hi, I’m Junmyeon. How are you?” Sehun stared at the man with expressionless eyes. Seriously, why did he feel triggered for being challenged by Chanyeol? He didn’t even have a wish at the moment that Chanyeol could fulfill, he just felt like proving him wrong by saying that going to a psychologist will help. The man was looking so nice really, with a super wide smile that seems so fake. Sehun already felt like puking. He took a seat in front of the man.

“How can I help you today?” Sehun sighed at the question, he already felt like escaping.

“Chanyeol asked me to come. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me though.”

“Why Chanyeol suggest you to come?” The younger understand about this, the psychologist was luring him in so he could tell him about himself. Same old, same old, it was the same with the psychologists that he was forced to meet by his Dad due to the passing of his Mom. Sehun really would like this to get over with, it’s pointless, should he even tell his story with this man.

“Tell me, Sehun, so you could get over this and leave this room as soon as possible.” Anxiety, discomfort, that’s what Junmyeon saw in the younger. He could obviously see that the younger felt the whole ordeal was stupid and pointless, but without the younger cooperating, he couldn’t help Sehun, and he promised Chanyeol he will help.

“Chanyeol is concerned, because I might have been too honest, confessing that I never believe in relationship in which I was just want to be the second guy, the escapade, the whole fun and no worries kind of thing.” Junmyeon smiled at the information Sehun let out, even if he knows the younger just saying things because he wanted to go home as soon as possible.

“Why you want to be the whole fun and no worries?” Sehun clucked his tongue, he felt very dissatisfied with this session, psychologists are annoying.

“Because you don’t have to have any expectations. And it won’t work.”

“Tell me about it.”

__________________________________________________

_“Mom. Where is dad?” Little Sehun asked his mom._

_“He has a work, honey. He will come tomorrow.”_

_“But it’s always tomorrow.” The kid felt dejected and his mom felt even more sad at the statement. It’s not only Sehun that yearns for the Dad, she was also miss her husband. Silently, she let her tears streamed down her face._

_“Mom, don’t cry, Why are you crying?”_

_“No, Honey, it’s okay, there’s a dust on my eyes.” Despite what she said, the tears were not stopping, and even though Sehun was still four years old, he was not stupid. He knew his mom was crying._

_“Hey, Sehunnie, I miss you.” His Dad said as he carried the kid to be in the same eye level with him. Sehun was glad of having his Dad near because it’s a rare occasion._

_“Me too, why don’t you go home often? Daddy should play with me more often.” His father was having a nervous cough and glanced at his wife, whom also averting his gaze._

_“Some days ago, Sehunnie saw Mom cries. Maybe because Mommy miss Daddy.”_

_“Ohh, really?” He said awkwardly and put Sehun down._

_“Dad, let’s go somewhere in the weekend. It’s been awhile.” Sehun said while clutching his Dad’s shirt._

_The weekend came, but it’s different than what Sehun was picturing. He thought he was going to go with his Mom and Dad, but instead he was going only with his Dad. He was confused and his Dad assured him that they will have a father and son bonding day. Sehun didn’t think much about it because he was too excited that he will be able to spend his time with the Dad, however there’s a woman came join them. She’s Aunt Hyeri. However, it’s weird, Aunt and Dad was holding their hands, isn’t holding hands supposed to be for Mom and Dad? And he was forbidden to talk about her in front of his mom._

_“Mom, why Dad is not coming home again?”_

_“Because he’s busy, love.”_

_“Mom, don’t you miss Dad?”_

_“I miss him all the time.”_

_“Mom, why do you seem sad?”_

_“No, I’m not, honey, I have you and I’m happy.”_

_The next time his Dad take him out of the house, he was meeting the aunt again. Sehun didn’t hate the aunt, he was indifferent, however he felt weird due to the closeness of his Dad and that aunt._

_“Dad, who is Aunt Hyeri?”_

_“Don’t you like her, honey?”_

_“She’s okay, but who is she, Dad?”_

_“She’s my very close friend, remember, don’t tell mom about her.”_

_If it’s a friend, why should it be kept a secret?_

_Several months later, Sehun could see his Dad’s car on his house, he was so elated because it’s been months his Dad not coming home, only taking Sehun somewhere and send him back home later in the evening. It was not usual for him to see his Dad meeting his Mom. They were talking in the room and Sehun could hear his Mom crying sadly from inside the room. When his Dad left, his Mom was looking for him and cried in front of him, telling him that she couldn’t be together with Sehun for long, and he loved him. They were having a divorce and his Dad threatened his Mom for him to have the child custody, or else he won’t take care of Sehun’s education and won’t send any money for his son._

_Sehun’s Dad was rich of the rich, or you can say a Chaebol, while his Mom came from a normal family. Hearing his condition, there’s no way his Mom was not giving up for the child custody._

_“Dad, why are you divorcing with Mom?”_

_“How do you think if Aunt Hyeri becoming your new Mom?”_

_“Why? I like Mom.”_

_“Don’t you like Hyeri too?”_

_“Why are you divorcing with Mom, Hunnie wants to know.”_

_“You will understand when you grew up, Hunnie, we just couldn’t work, I’m not happy with your Mom, but I’m happy with Hyeri. I would like to be with Hyeri, so I have to leave Mom. Don’t worry, it’s just that you will have two Mom.”_

_“Okay.. Will you leave Aunt Hyeri in the future too if she stops making you happy?”_

_His Dad kept mum._

_His mom was losing weight after his Dad visit and declaration of divorce. A week after, Sehun was told to live with his Dad on another house. Sehun felt sad, he supposed to have Mom and Dad, why was he leaving his Mom and old home behind?_

_“Sehun, I love you, so much.. I’m sorry that I won’t be there for you. Please be a good son, visit me sometimes, let’s have a call often, asked your Dad for a phone call.. or maybe asked the maid. Please be happy. Your happiness is everything for me.” His Mom hugged him tight on their separation._

_Happy. Dad wants to be happy so he left Mom, and Mom told him to be happy._

_Happiness.._

_What’s happiness?_

_Several years has gone by, Sehun was nine. He frequently visiting his Mom, and they would spend a day or two together each month. As he grew up, he could see what his Mom felt, it’s loneliness and sorrow, always asking him for the Dad’s update, while at the same time he saw his Dad and his new Mom, Hyeri was living just fine and is happy._

_One day, out of a sudden, he was told that his mom passed away, he went to the funeral, cried for days. But his Dad didn’t seem to care. He still remembered her mom told him when he was seven that she loved his Dad, and it even if they were not together, she never regrets because she has a chance to be with his Dad even for a short while._

_Love. What is love? Is it worth it, at all? When it hurts so bad that you take your life for it?_

__________________________________________________

“Yeol, I think Sehun’s case is pretty deep.” It’s the first sentence that he let out as Chanyeol received the call.

“What happened to Sehun?” Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows as he clutched the phone to his ear. However, the man on the taller’s laps instantly became stiff.

“I’m not supposed to tell you things, as I’m a psychologist and it’s—”

“Fuck it, just tell me.” Chanyeol let out a low chuckle. “I’m just worried for the boy, he’s pretty young, you know?”

“It’s my work ethics, I can’t—”

“Myeon Hyung, shut it, tell me. I don’t fucking care about your work ethics, it’s not that I’ll tell the world about it.”

“He never understands what is love, and he thought happiness is everything, because his Dad chased for happiness, and his Mom told him to be happy, while he felt that she also took her life due to her failure of reaching happiness, so it’s all about happiness.” They both sighed.

“At least he’s cooperating and told you his story. Do you think he’ll be better?”

“Yes, but if he also found somebody that he loves, who can give him a tremendous amount of support to make him understand about love and happiness. I can only help him for so much Yeol.. I can convince him to try love, but he has to experience it himself.”

“Please help him, he’s actually pretty nice, I cared for him a lot.”

When they hang up, Baekhyun was kissing him hard. He tried to stop and would like to talk about it to Baekhyun. But he was kissing him harder and not letting Chanyeol talk. It was pretty hot, but it’s not what he wanted in the moment. Suddenly the smaller kneeled in front of him and playing with his bulge. The taller stopped his husband’s hand.

“Baekhyun.” The smaller eyed him with frightened eyes. His hand was slightly trembled. He suddenly remembered Sehun, this was how Sehun distracted him, for him not to talk about whatever life problems that he wanted to share. Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s small wrist and pulled him to his laps.

“Don’t talk. I don’t want to hear.” It broke Chanyeol’s heart, he knows that the elder didn’t expect him talking about Sehun in front of him, and that he’s jealous, but should he be angry rather than being.. this way?

“I love you.” Chanyeol whispered as he hugged him tightly.

“Will you betray me again? At least I could have some of my feeling spared, so I could not be—” A big palm covered his lips.

“Baekhyun.” He stared at the smaller with a serious look. “Listen, I love you. I really do, and I never will leave you again. I promised to only will love you until the day I died.”

“Do you still love Sehun?” Baekhyun braved himself and asked.

“No, it’s just that I care, I cared of him. Baek, his family is pretty messed up, and I just found out that he never committed with anyone, he just wants to be the secondary person, the escapade, how fucked was that. I sent him to Junmyeon Hyung.” The smaller kept mum though, as much as he tried to care, he didn’t feel like he could feel any empathy to a guy his husband cheated on with.

“Look, can we just stop talking about him? You don’t expect me to care of the guy who you cheated on with, right?” Baekhyun clearly seemed agitated and the taller huffed a sigh, he really hurt his husband that much and he was feeling disappointed upon himself.

“Okay, I won’t talk to you about him ever again.” The smaller then pinched his side waist and punched his chest hard.

“Aw Baek! The fuck.”

“Seriously please don’t break my trust.” He whispered and hugged Chanyeol tightly as if he’s a Koala, but the taller didn’t complaint and just ruffled his hair.

__________________________________________________

A year passed by, Baekhyun was trusting his husband more, as he could see Chanyeol was even more loving and dedicated to Baekhyun. He also gave him a lot of little surprises that made sparks in their relationship. He never again talked about Sehun or another guy. Their relationship was changing, because they both were changing, Chanyeol were not taking his husband for granted anymore, and Baekhyun was also changing, he put his husband’s opinion to consideration but not agreed on it blindly. He was always ready to fight his ground. Like how Chanyeol missed his original hair color but Baekhyun was still dyeing it to different colors, and how Chanyeol hated some of his wardrobe collection, but Baekhyun was not giving up all of it, just a few, that’s revealing and see through. Few of them which were not so provocative or revealing, just make him ‘more desirable’ as his husband said, he was not giving up on it. In the end, Chanyeol gave in, even if it’s hard for him to see his husband being so desirable and not for only him who sees, but he wanted for Baekhyun to feel a little bit more of liberty, because the later also never control him much.

He forgot how it feels, on how he could freely fight Chanyeol back, three last years of his marriage, he subconsciously gave in to him because he was too afraid his husband could leave him. It feels good to finally being his own self, arguing with his husband like the old time.

What he never expected was when he and Chanyeol invited to their friends gathering, he realized the head counts increase, Junmyeon bring his introverted wife, Irene, Kyungsoo was bringing Kai, and Yixing, he was tagging along a tall handsome guy. It’s Sehun. The very Sehun that Chanyeol cheated on. He was appalled on seeing him, at the hand shake, he could feel himself trembled. Baekhyun thought that his husband will be surprised upon seeing Sehun, but apparently, he didn’t seem fazed. Did he know about this beforehand?

“Wow, as Yixing’s plus one, huh?” Chanyeol smirked at him and he got back with the same sentiments.

“Yeah, like, why not?”

“Stop it, it’s my boyfriend.” Yixing then said teasingly and hugged the younger openly which Sehun shrugged it off coldly. His demeanor didn’t seem to change, still the cold person that Chanyeol know. But in fact, he wanted to go somewhere with his boyfriend’s circle, means he was getting attached and he suppose it’s a good thing.

“I’m happy to see you here.” Chanyeol said, to his ex, but Baekhyun couldn’t stop eyeing them back and forth and went to the table with Kai and Kyungsoo instead, leaving Yixing, Sehun and his Husband.

“Seriously, I think Chanyeol know he will come, but he didn’t even warn me! And he seems happy to see his ex.” A slap from Kai landed on Baekhyun’s back.

“Ya! He has Yixing, stupid dumbass.” Kai said as Baekhyun hissed and rubbing the spot that the slap landed, it started to stink.

“But if I were Baek, I will feel pissed as well though… But yeah, he’s here as somebody else’s you know.”

“Isn’t there any other person for Yixing, though? I mean it’s Sehun.” Baekhyun pouted, and just when Kai want to opened his mouth to comment on it, he stopped because Chanyeol hugged Baekhyun from the side as he took his seat.

“Love.” He whispered and pecked Baekhyun’s ear. The smaller shrugged him off.

“Don’t show too much PDA.” The smaller glared while blushing.

“Cute.” Chanyeol muttered and Kai together with Kyungsoo, acting out a puke.

Baekhyun was feeling down, because he felt that seeing Sehun’s face was ruining his mood, and he was forced to be in the same table with him. All of his friend seems accepting of Sehun, thinking that he’s cute in his own way, and he was also throwing some witty remarks that could make the whole table laugh. Once in a while, Baekhyun could felt that the guy glancing at him to look at his expression, and he felt tired, knowing that he was observed by the person who once ruined his relationship with Chanyeol. What kind of expression should he gave?

However, Chanyeol could feel his husband sentiments, he kept him close, making sure to hug his waist most of the time and he whispered softly, “Baek, we’ll talk at home, okay? Cheer up, love.”

There’s one more unexpected thing happened that night, he thought that seeing Sehun was the only surprise for the night, but he was wrong. Apparently when he was excusing himself to the toilet, the younger followed him and waited in front of the toilet door, as he finished and stepped out of the toilet, he grabbed his wrist softly.

“Hyung, can we talk?” Sehun asked him with an unreadable face, well Baekhyun has observed that the guy’s face was quite expressionless. He tilted his face a bit to see the younger. He’s so beautiful, and tall, no wonder Chanyeol was swayed.

“I promise I’ll be short.”

“Okay.” Then Baekhyun and Sehun went to the outdoor part of the bar, before they were in the indoors.

“Hyung, I’m so sorry.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun said and he kept reprimanding himself to keep a straight face, trying to be tough.

“Chanyeol dragged me to Junmyeon a year ago, because I was always the second person in the relationship, the one who was ruining other relationship, and I never felt guilty about it. I thought it’s pretty normal. I never believed in love.” He looked guilty when he said it. But Baekhyun felt his blood boiled. The fuck is wrong with this guy.

“I had a trauma so I never seek love, I just seek for fun and enjoyment and I got that from Chanyeol, and he were too.. at the moment. But then Chanyeol realized his love for you were more than that and I was only an infatuation which faded in a short while. And he persuaded me to see Junmyeon when he knew about my past. And I realized how big of a sin had I committed. I’m so sorry, I never considered your feeling as I snatched the love of your life.” Baekhyun could feel his heart sympathized as the younger seem earnest in the way he apologizing. He closed his eyes and let out a deep sighed.

“You believe in love now?” The shorter looked at his eyes firmly.

“Yes, I do.”

“With Yixing?”

“Yeah, I felt very regretful for you and others as I experienced love and how I thought I’ll die if I lose Yixing.”

“I don’t give a shit about you, Sehun. But Yixing is my best friend, and I cared of him.” Sehun nodded while biting his lips.

“If you hurt him, I’ll make sure I’ll kill you.”

“I won’t. I promise you.”

“Okay.”

__________________________________________________

“You know Sehun was going to be there!” Baekhyun shouted at his husband as soon as they were home.

“I know.”

“And you don’t tell me. What the fuck is wrong with you.”

“Baek, you forbid me to talk to you about Sehun or any other guy.”

“But he was about to be in our gathering. Chanyeol.. Fuck, I.. Fuck! I’m pissed.”

“Baek, love.” Chanyeol tried to approach his husband but Baekhyun gave him a warning glare, stopping him as he about to step closer.

“You should have warned me! I should have prepared myself!” Baekhyun said as he pulled his own hair, Chanyeol looked at his husband guiltily. It’s his fault, he thought to himself. Slowly, he came closer to his husband again and hugged him.

“Baek, I’m sorry.” He said as he felt his lover’s body trembled. Baekhyun always trembled when he was angry.

“Did you think it was fucking nice to give me a shock therapy like that? Did you consider my feelings, of how I would feel being in the same table with the same person that you left me with? Did you consider my feelings, seeing the guy you fucked with?” The smaller finally cried and Chanyeol felt his heart broke.

“Baek.. I don’t know what to do. He’s Yixing’s boyfriend, I couldn’t tell Yixing not to tag him along.”

“Then we shouldn’t have come!!!” He yelled and his face got red. “You should leave me with choices!” Chanyeol felt his husband was wetting his clothe with tears.

“Baek… I’m sorry. I hurt you again and I’m sorry.” Baekhyun pushed himself away from Chanyeol.

“I’m going to calm myself down.” He left Chanyeol and the later could only see Baekhyun’s sorrowful back. He felt like the biggest idiot ever live.

When they settle on their bed that night, Chanyeol felt like he could be suffocated with the heavy tension. His husband was turning his back on him, and he was only looking at him, contemplating his next move. He was somehow glad that they had a promise that they will not ever sleep in a different bed no matter how mad they were for each other, but it hurts him to see his husband so close while it felt far away. Braving himself, he was scooting closer to the smaller and spoon him.

“Love.. I’m being so inconsiderate and I’m sorry.” He whispered and Baekhyun was biting his lips, his tears started to fall again.

“Please turn around. Talk to me.” Chanyeol pleaded but there’s no way Baekhyun wanted to show his husband that he was crying again.

“Baekhyun-ah.” The taller pecked his hair and Baekhyun couldn’t hold his cries any longer. Then he turned around and hid his face on his husband strong chest and clutched his shirt tightly.

“It hurts.” He cried brokenly.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry! It’s agitating.” He was still not calm, and Chanyeol knew he won’t listen to anything he was saying until he cooled down. Silently caressing the smaller’s back while pecking his hair now and then, Baekhyun’s cries finally died down, he was no longer clutching his husband’s shirt, but face was still buried in it.

“I heard from Myeon Hyung for updates regarding Sehun. He himself was getting closer with him and told me he grew fond of him. I knew since the beginning of their relationship, how it starts, and how they seem to fall for each other… But I never told you, because I never think it’s necessary, besides it’s not like I could tell you about him. I promised.” The smaller stay still, knowing that his husband quietly listened to him. He continued.

“Yixing called me two days ago. Telling me if it’s a good idea to take Sehun along. He felt that Sehun was the one, and he really would like to tag him along to the gathering, as we all promised to bring our significant others. And I just couldn’t say no.”

“But you could have told me.” Baekhyun said in a low tone, seeming so tired about it already.

“I don’t know how, and as I was anxious, I thought to myself maybe it’s better for you to just discover on the spot. I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry, it’s tiring to hear.”

“Sehun was just a little kid, Baek. His mom was deadly in love with the dad, but the dad cheated on her, and divorce her, while he was ended up with another woman. The mom took her own life years after due to her broken heart and loneliness. That boy didn’t believe in love. He believed he just need to seek of happiness. Always being the second person on the relationship made him felt happy, as he felt he was what makes his partner happy and he won’t be left feeling hurt like his mom.. It’s crazy… So I persuade him to see Junmyeon. And I’m so happy that he’s putting himself out there, finding love.”

“I hated that it was Yixing. Out of thousands of people, it just has to be our closest.”

“Yeah. I get it.” They were engulfed in silence.

“I love you.” Chanyeol whispered and his husband looked up to him with tear-stricken face.

“I hate myself for hurting you deeply.” The taller said again.

“Yixing was a great person. I’m also worried of him. Sehun doesn’t deserve him.”

“Yixing told me that he know that it might be too much.. but he didn’t want to feel like he needs to choose between Sehun and us.”

“I need time.. lots of it. As I look at his face it just felt like a remembrance that you cheated, you left me, and you slept with him.” Baekhyun looked at his husband guilty face. “But I need to try.. for Yixing.”

“Yeah, for Yixing. And I love you. Baekhyun, I would never leave you ever again, unless death do us part.” Chanyeol said and caressed Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Yeah, please make sure you do that.”

__________________________________________________

Sehun felt that meeting Junmyeon was an awakening of his life. At first, Chanyeol was paying for his counseling session, but after three session, he was paying on his own and thanked Chanyeol instead. He forgot how it felt to cry, ever since his mom died, he never felt the need to, but since the second time he was counseled with Junmyeon, tears unknowingly streamed down his face and it felt like a lot of burden has lifted up from his shoulder.

He never has a real friend that stayed with him, because they were all just so judging with his way of life. He only had several friends to have fun with and to spend his money on. After all he always feel that happiness was what important, and never felt that it was actually pathetic. But as Junmyeon talked to him about love, about compassion, friends, and family he reflected a lot and realized that his life was a mess. It didn’t help that Junmyeon tag him along on his dates with his wife, and also sometimes with his closest friend, Yixing.

It was weird, at one point, when Junmyeon was laughing together with Irene as they joked, or when Irene slowly holding her husband’s hand as she whispered things that Sehun didn’t manage to catch, made him jealous. Was that real? Was Junmyeon really not tempted to leave Irene? Were they really loyal towards each other?

Sehun learnt a lot of stuff, especially from Irene. The girl grew fond of Sehun as well and befriend him. She often hang out with the younger with just the two of them. He learnt that Irene not always happy with Junmyeon, she sometimes complaint about the man, she also told Sehun about how annoying her husband could be. And one day, Sehun just wanted to know, he couldn’t restrain himself to ask.

“Noona.. You seem to feel annoyed by Hyung a lot. Do you regret marrying him?” Irene seemed surprised as the younger asked him.

“Oh, God, no…. No, Sehun-ah, of course not.”

“But you complaint a lot and you said that he is amazingly annoying at times, and most of the time pissing you off by the lame joke that aren’t funny at all.”

“People tend to talk about the bad side more than the good ones. I love him, I really do, and sure, he is amazingly annoying at times, loves to piss me off with the lame jokes, and messing up our bedroom every day, but he’s more than that, he has a lot of good sides too.” Sehun furrowed his eye brows, clearly didn’t understand what Irene means. She let out a chuckle and patting the younger’s shoulder.

“Being in love is hard, it’s not always flowery and full of happiness. When you were being together for a long time, you will discover more of the person’s bad side than good. Then you have to accept their bad side, work along with them, because you love them.”

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

“That’s because I’m bad at words.”

“If you discover their bad sides, and it makes you feel annoyed, pissed or angry, then why don’t you leave them?”

“Because when people love each other, they support each other, they trust each other.. It was like.. Unconditionally they will be there for you.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Yeah, it was unfortunate that people can’t make the love alive, they betray each other when the world gets harder. But the bad part or betraying and losing each other, is that you won’t have them anymore, there’s nobody will support and trust you. You will also be lonely again.” Sehun seemed to think hard, and Irene continued. “Even if Junmyeon often made me angry, annoyed and pissing me off, even that part of him that I hate, I will come to miss when he’s not around. And certainly I couldn’t live by knowing he’s not by my side anymore.. The world’s seem so scary.. being alone.”

“Noona, you’re weird.” Judgingly, the younger stared at her, and she slapped his back of his neck.

But after months of being around Junmyeon and Irene, Sehun could understand what Irene means, he could see that the man always brought smile to her face, and when she talked about him, she was always beaming. Was love easily made you happy? Just by thinking about them? That seems stupid at first, but Sehun thought, if being happy was that happy, and you can have it constantly, why did he had to search for it blindly each day like what he’s doing?

The first time he was meeting Yixing, was a lazy Sunday morning. Junmyeon and Irene asked him to tag along to a café, claiming that he was alone and bored anyway, so he could join them instead. He groaned, he didn’t feel like being sociable that way, but he found himself getting ready to tag along to another date of the pair. Maybe this was what Irene used to explain to him, maybe love or affection was like this, even though he felt the Junmyeon and Irene were annoying at time, but he loved being around them and he didn’t think he would be happy if suddenly they were back becoming stranger.

Yixing was nothing special, in Sehun’s perspective. To be honest, he was a bit weird, he was kind of slow, looking somehow dumb, being too honest most of the times, and just.. weird. It was obvious that they guy was interested in Sehun since the first time they met, but then again, who doesn’t feel interested upon seeing him? He’s an attractive man after all.

He didn’t say anything when Yixing was flirting at him and try to get closer to him, if he was fun, he might let himself getting snatched by Yixing. It might lead to good sex too, judging by the elder’s toned body.

As a notary, Yixing has plenty of free time, he was pestering the younger most of the time. Picking him up for university, and dropping off after, getting him a coffee every morning and wrapping up the day with tagging the younger to dinner dates. After three weeks intensely pestering the younger, Sehun was inviting him to his flat, and seduce him to finally take him, but Yixing pushed him off gently.

“Sehun, I can’t take you. I’m sorry.. I can’t.” Sehun was shocked, how could a man refuse him?

“Is this some kind of joke?” The younger asked while pushing Yixing to bad and straddle him.

“Oh, God, no.. No, stop, Sehun-ah.” Yixing freed himself from Sehun as gently as possible.

“I don’t understand.” His eyes furrowed.

“I like you, Sehun, a lot. And it’s not for sex. I like you as a person, I want to spend time with you more, getting closer and maybe be something more.”

“With sex.. right? It’s always sex.”

“No, Hunnie, look.. I might have heard one or two things from Junmyeon.”

“Ohh damn, I should sue the man already, it’s my privacy, he’s blabbering.” Sehun looked pissed now.

“I don’t want to treat you as what men treated you before. I want to treat you right; I want to teach you about love.”

“That’s cringe.”

“I would rather have your heart and love, or have nothing of you. Friends with benefits will surely hurt me.”

“You are complicated.”

“I will come to fall for your harder when we did it, and knowing you have no attachment of me will ruined my feelings, so I won’t.” Yixing said firmly, looking at the boy’s eyes which seems lost.

“I’m not a man of attachment, I’m a man to have fun with, so do whatever you want to do.” Sehun was about to leave him and go to the bathroom, but Yixing stopped him by saying.

“Don’t you want to experience what Chanyeol feels? Or how Irene feels when she looked at his husband? Don’t you want to share a knowing stare to someone? Like how Irene and Junmyeon silently communicate only with their eyes? Don’t you want to experience love?”

Sehun just stopped at his tracks and said nothing. In fact, he was starting to believe about love, but no, he still believes it’s not for him.

“I saw how you looked at Junmyeon and Irene which such longing.. Don’t you want to try with me?”

“You must be kidding me, stop the nonsense, Hyung.” He glanced at Yixing, smirking and left him to the bathroom to fix himself. When he was out from the bathroom, the older man left his apartment already and he sighed. Alone, like what he preferred. But was it, really?

Spending a week without Yixing was weird, there were nobody picking him up to the university with a cup of coffee ready for him to sip as he entered the car, there were nobody dropping an annoying chat, for silly pictures or meme, saying that it made him recall of the man, there’s nobody company him for dinner, and he felt so lonely. Most of the nights, he went to Junmyeon and Irene’s flat, saying that he needed free food as an alibi, but seriously, he was just bored.

“Yah, kid, go crash somewhere, I wanted to have some sexy time with my wife, you know.” Junmyeon said after seeing the kid went there most of the time for a week. His wife hit his crown and he grimaced.

“Don’t be rude to my sweet Hunnie.” Irene said and Sehun just gave out his tongue to him.

“What happened with Yixing? Don’t you like him?” Junmyeon asked and Irene glared at him, silently asking just why did he has to ask. They have heard from Yixing, that he would like to retreat from his courting progress because it seems futile.

“He has a nice body and all, he just didn’t see the same light.”

“What do you mean?” Junmyeon tried to prod further.

“He’s complicated, he wanted love, he didn’t want to only fuck. I don’t understand him, too complicated.”

“Then go hunt for guys to sated you. Why are you in my flat most of the time.” Junmyeon said, attempting to do a reverse psychology at the younger, but seriously he could see how mad Irene was. Not a freaking good idea, Irene was fierce even though she’s really petite.

“Maybe I should, yeah.. Like why not? And it’s Friday, just a good freaking time to hunt.” Sehun smiled and left their flat, no need to explain further, Irene was mad at her husband, Junmyeon nearly crashed at his living room sofa, that night.

__________________________________________________

Sehun was wake up pretty late on Saturday, he felt his body protested upon him, his asshole, thighs and lower back felt sore and he groaned. The guys from yesterday was quite good looking, he’s taller than him, which was not common because he was tall, and he could manhandle him, which was hot. But after tossing and turning, he felt empty. There’s nobody asked for him, there’s no chat, there’s no life could be detected on his flat, he’s just alone. And suddenly he felt lonely. As much as he hated to admit, he missed the stupid memes that Yixing sent.

Refusing to feel lonely and pathetic, he decided to hunt again tonight, because he has nothing to do, and why not?

Night time comes and Sehun lazily got ready to hit the club. He wore his most revealing shirt, and subtle make up. He looked damn desirable and he smirked at the mirror. When he was arrived, he got himself a strong drink, he wished he was not here for long after all, he just wanted somebody to warm his bed by the end of the night.

After his second drink, he could feel some guys were looking at him like a prey, he opened one more button of his shirt and licked his lips. Finally, there’s a guy approaching him with a toothy grin, he spent some time with him but he didn’t want to sleep with the guy, he somehow grossed him out, excusing himself and taking another strong drink, he approached another attractive guy who seem to be out for hunting.

It seemed like a joke; it didn’t work because the guy said he’s straight. What the fuck, he couldn’t believe that he mistook a straight person as his prey. It’s no good, he was starting to get tipsy and there’s still nobody whom potential. He went back to the bar, finishing his glass and ordering another, but then he felt warm all over a sudden, a blazer was thrown to his shoulder and he glanced back. It’s Yixing, staring at him, seeming upset for no reasons. Sehun frowned.

“It’s too revealing, why did you choose this kind of outfit.” Yixing leaned closer and whispered to the younger’s ears which made him shuddered.

“It makes me look hot; don’t tell me you don’t like it.” The younger smugly smirked at him and Yixing shook his head, making the younger wear the blazer properly and button it. For the first time since forever, Sehun felt warmth, he didn’t want to admit, but Yixing enveloping him with the blazer made him feel content rather than annoyed.

“You look hot in every damn thing; you don’t need to showcase it.” Yixing stared and for once, Sehun felt intimidated. It’s Yixing, he’s a dork, he’s kind of stupid, why was he felt intimidated? Sehun just clucked his tongue.

“Let me take you home.”

“I want to stay and hunt.” He said and opened the blazer, he would like to return his blazer. Because he wanted to look hot, and the blazer was hindering it. Yixing said nothing, he just looked at Sehun intently. He would like to forbid him, but he’s nothing to the younger, he didn’t have the rights.

“Do whatever you want. Just wear the blazer, it looked good on you. It doesn’t make you less hot.” Yixing fixed his blazer on the younger again, and left the club. He was just closing a big case this week, it was supposed to be his celebration, but seeing the younger made him sick to the gut. And for Sehun, he got another prey and successfully dragged the guy to his apartment.

Same shit happened in the morning, feeling sated and kind of empty, and the only thing that he remembered was Yixing, the blazer and the fact that last night, he might be experiencing to have the first person who cared of him.

Always being on his beck and call, Sehun knows Yixing will came to him as he wanted to meet. But he felt uncertain of seeing the man. It was already five days since the blazer incident, he has been replaying the scene where Yixing gently made him wore the blazer, and it creates a funny emotion within him. Even if he already dry cleaned the blazer, and it was done since two days ago, he was still reluctant on seeing him. He then went to Irene instead, hoping the woman understand his life problem.

“He was the biggest hypocrite, come on Noona, there’s no way he didn’t feel that I’m attractive.” Sehun pouted while helping Irene to cook, as they wait for Junmyeon to come home.

“It means he felt that you are valuable, Hunnie. As a guy, you understand better than I am, guy mostly thinks with their dick rather than not.” Irene chuckled and Sehun clucked his tongue. “All the more reason of me, not understanding on why he refusing me.” He rolled his eyes.

“He cherished you.”

“What a joke.”

“When a guy cherished a person, they are reluctant to do it, as he felt he wanted to protect you, and they didn’t want to ruin you. I guess Yixing is being serious this time around.”

“Noona, come on, what a nonsense.”

“I was not a virgin when I met Myeonnie. We started of as friends, and I know that he likes me, we naturally get closer, even if we slept in the same bed, he never touched me in any sorts of way. At first it made me curious, did he not see me as attractive? You know, I’m quite attractive, it’s just you are not straight enough to appreciate.” She lightly joked and Sehun chuckled.

“You are pretty though, but you are too small, looking like a kid.” He bit back and Irene glared.

“Even when we were finally together, it took a long time until he did the deed. I asked him, and he told me it’s because he loved me, he cherished me and he felt he didn’t want to ruin me. Yixing must have love you a lot, Hunnie.” Irene smiled at him genuinely.

“I met him while I was hunting. Okay, so I hunt on Friday and Saturday, I met him on Saturday. I was starting to get tipsy and he approach me, I was wearing my clubbing shirt, you know the very revealing one. He covered it with his blazer. He wanted to take me home but I refused, then he went away but telling me to keep the blazer. It made me felt weird.”

“Define weird.” Irene sent him a knowing smile, while working on the soup, Sehun felt irked by the smile, he very much would like to throw her the kimchi that he was chopping right now.

“Weird noona! Weird.” He frustratingly said.

“It’s weird because nobody tells you to cover up? Weird because it makes you feel warm? Weird because you felt butterfly in your belly?” Irene laughed out loud and Sehun just sighed. He washed his hands and grumbled. “You just cook by yourself.”

“It’s done anyway.” Irene said back, making him even more pissed. When she was done finishing the dish, she hanged her apron and approached the younger.

“Doesn’t it feel good to feel cared of? Don’t you feel happy?” Irene smiled widely in front of him, it’s pissing him off.

“Noona, you are pissing me off a lot today.”

“Junmyeon sulked a lot when I wear provocative outfits. Somehow, I wanted to wear what I wanted, but most of the time, it felt good that he feels possessive. He cared; he doesn’t want me to be an object to be stared at.”

“I don’t want to talk about Yixing again, let’s just wait for Hyung and eat.” Irene chuckled.

“Whatever you want, sassy prince.”

__________________________________________________

Finally, after another week has passed, it seems silly to keep on denying that he kept on thinking about Yixing. He called the man, asking to meet up just to hand out his blazer. They met at a cafe near the university, he was nonchalant upon seeing Sehun.

“I have dry cleaned it, thank you.” Sehun said when Yixing took a seat in front of him, he had bought the older man a random coffee, he realized that he didn’t know Yixing’s preference and he hoped that he knew.

“I don’t really drink coffee. But, thanks.” Yixing said and it made Sehun upset. He wished he knew, and he also didn’t understand why he wished he knew. Seeing the man’s face, it made him long for the stupid lame jokes, and his companion each day which he spent in solitude now.

“What.. What do you like then?” Sehun asked reluctantly, not feeling his usual confidence.

“I prefer hot chocolate. Always.” Yixing said.

“Ohh.. Okay.” Sehun muttered and the tension got so suffocating.

“If there’s nothing then.. See you when I see you?” Yixing said as he was stood up and about to leave. Sehun cleared his throat.

“Hyung.. do you want to watch a movie? I mean the day’s still early.” Yixing reclaimed his seat again.

“What do you want to watch?”

And so, they spend their day watching movie, and Yixing took him back to his flat. He felt strangely happy. But since that day, Sehun realized that even though Yixing was still friendly towards him, he was not getting pestered anymore, he rarely asked the younger for a day out, and when they met, sometimes it’s because of Sehun asking him to meet or because Junmyeon and Irene were the one inviting them. It never happened before, as Yixing was the one who pestered him restlessly and always taking him out before he even asked.

He started to yearn for the guy, and he freaked out. He felt happy when Yixing was near, and felt sad when the man has no news and he was always to prideful to ask first, now Yixing was seldom on sending him random chat and memes too. To distract himself, he mostly went hunting to the club, but now, he didn’t because he didn’t feel like it. He wanted Yixing, and for the first time in his life, he felt sad and not confident. Yixing was like something he could never get. Was this pining happened due to him being in love? Then being in love sucks.

__________________________________________________

There was a clubbing invitation, from Xiumin to Junmyeon and Irene, and to Yixing, and they invited Sehun too. It’s been three months or so, him not hitting the club, so he was happy to join. The last time he hit the club was on the day he met Yixing, so now it has been two and a half months or so, him being friends with Yixing, and it has been more than a month since he stops denying to himself that he yearned for the man. Sehun was wanting at least a reaction from the man, so he wore his most provocative outfit he has and wait patiently for the man to fetch him.

A door bell rings and Sehun was opening the door giddily. Upon seeing the younger, Yixing felt his throat dried and he gulped. When he regained his conscience that Sehun was going to leave in that state, his expression changed and his nostrils flared. Acting indifference, Sehun asked Yixing to get going. The man didn’t budge though. He grabbed Sehun’s wrist and dragged him to the bedroom.

“Hyung.”

“Let’s change your clothes, it’s too provocative.” Yixing said and silently, he rummaged the younger’s wardrobe to see what could fit for the night.

“Don’t you think I look good on this?” The younger pretended to sulk while sitting at his bed. He actually felt his heart beat so fast.

“Do you want to be an object to be stared off for the night? Value your God damn body.” He said and he tossed less revealing shirt which still exude beauty and sexiness.

“Why do you care, Hyung?” Sehun asked in a soft voice, not wanting to fight back, just genuinely wanting to know the reason, but Yixing didn’t reply.

“I’ll wait outside, just change.”

“Your kid is straddling at Yixing.” Irene sat close to Junmyeon and whispered. The man instinctively looked at the pair’s direction at the dance floor and he felt a headache, but when he wanted to approach them, Irene stopped him.

“Myeon, let them be. They are adults.”

Yixing felt so selfish tonight, he knew that Sehun will pick a random guy to fuck with when he was out at a club, and he didn’t want to let the younger do it. That’s why when Sehun was approaching him, he gave in, he let the younger straddled him for the night, and when Sehun was drunk, he took the younger home to his flat. When he made sure that Sehun was already went to the bathroom, get changed, and tucked in his own bed, Yixing was ready to leave, but Sehun was hugging him from the back, he sighed.

“Hyung, am I not attractive enough for you?” He asked in a soft voice.

“You are drunk, Hunnie, just sleep it off.”

“Hyung, you were not fun, you were not even giving me sex, but I want to have you.. like.. your attention.” Yixing shrugged him off, knowing full well that the younger won’t remember this when he’s sober.

“I want you near, I want you to cling on me again, to pester me. Hyung.. don’t you want me?” Sehun asked and hugged him again.

“You will forget this in the morning.”

“Doesn’t mean that I don’t mean it. Sleep with me. We don’t have to do anything, just, sleep with me. It’s too lonely.” A tug felt at Yixing’s heart. He didn’t have to do anything, just stay, so he stayed. The younger beamed and gave him spare shirt and jogger pants to sleep. Yixing settled beside the younger and watched him drifted to sleep with smile on his face. He caressed the younger’s gently, promising himself to leave when the younger asleep. But in the end, he fell asleep himself.

__________________________________________________

Morning came, for the first time since forever, Sehun felt content when he woke up. Then all of a sudden, his mind was chaotic. What should he do now? He was sure Yixing will leave as he woke up, because last night was awkward. What should he do so he would stay? Sex won’t do because the man was immune at it, and sadly, that might be the only thing Sehun knows. He then tried to think hard, thinking about what to do to make Yixing stayed and he just couldn’t think of anything.

Then an idea came to his head, coffee, but damn, Yixing didn’t like coffee. He was not a fan of hot chocolate so he has none. He was starting to get restless, he really wanted to make Yixing stayed. Last thing that seemed like a good idea but seeming so cringed was making him breakfast.

Sehun climbed down his bed, stretched a bit, and started to make breakfast. He made an instant cream soup for two people and making a sunny side up. Then when he came back to his room, he could see Yixing was sitting on the edge of the bed, he was holding his head with his hand.

“Hyung, I cooked breakfast.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks.”

The younger waits on the dining room, and when Yixing was out from the bedroom, he was staring with hopeful eyes. When they eat, Yixing started to break the ice with some lame jokes and random talks, but they could still feel the tension.

“I never knew you were a man of effort.” Yixing teased.

“Just for you, Hyung.” Sehun grinned, he felt his face grew hotter.

“Don’t flirt with me, I might take it literally.” The elder said with a smile, but Sehun knew he meant it.

“Don’t you happy I cooked you breakfast?”

“Yeah, but I bet this is instant.” Yixing said and laughed.

“Damn, how do you know?” The man just smirked at the younger’s question.

“Do you want to do something together today? I feel like binged on Netflix.”

“Sorry, I need to go soon.” Yixing said, he actually had nothing to do, but being so close with Sehun for a long time, was not okay for him, seeing him on his pajamas, with unruly hair making him breakfast was already too much for him. Sehun’s face fell, he really wanted Yixing to stay.

“I remember.” Sehun said abruptly, it made Yixing confused. “Last night, I remember everything I said.” The later chuckled and shook his head. It’s funny how he let his life to be ruled by someone who is six years younger than him.

“You are just lonely, maybe.” He shrugged and Sehun glared at him.

“I said I know what I said, okay? I want you to look at me only. I don’t even know what this is, I cannot even hunt lately, because I keep on thinking about you. Just like today, I don’t want you to go from my apartment. I don’t know what’s happening to me.” Yixing stared blankly at the younger. “I meant it, okay? I kept on thinking of you when I see stupid memes, thinking that you will like it but I’m too prideful to send to you, when I saw something, I feel like talking to you and somehow know that you will stared dumbly at me, trying to process what I said and respond to it in a slow pace that make me frustrated. But I miss it. Even yesterday, I wanted to know your reaction, that is why I wore my most provocative outfits. Tell me what’s happening to me.” Yixing stared at him blankly, was this really happening? But Sehun didn’t want to commit though. It’s Sehun, the one who only want the fun.

“I don’t want only fun, if you want me, I want you to commit with me. Do you understand?”

“No, I don’t. But teach me. I’ll follow, because when I feel you beside me when I woke up, I feel content and happy, and I’ll kill to feel it every day. And maybe I want to understand further about love, about how Chanyeol feels for Baekhyun, or how Junmyeon and Irene feels, even if it seems cringe most of the time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Sehun nod firmly and stared at Yixing eyes.

“But I’m clingy, I will pester you a lot, I’m a little possessive and I certainly won’t let you out with half of your clothes.”

“I felt an indescribable feeling every time you cover me up when I wear revealing shits.” Yixing then smirked.

“Then can I call you mine?”

“Whatever, just keep in mind, I don’t really understand how this shit works. But I’ll try.” Sehun said and bit his lips becoming a straight line.

“Good enough.”

__________________________________________________

Sehun discovered a lot of feelings as he learnt how to love Yixing, he learnt about caring for others, to sometimes prioritizing Yixing rather than himself, to sacrifice on things, to listen at his boyfriend, give in at some advices, to respect him and to feel needy towards him. It’s new, especially the needy part, he was a solitary person, never really needed anyone else, but here he was now, needing his boyfriend more often than not.

He also learnt about jealousy, it was foreign and frustrating, there’s one time which Yixing had to take care of a Chaebol’s land certificate, and it seems that the guy took a liking of Yixing, often asking Yixing out for Lunch, getting thing more complicated, resulting more work for Yixing. Sehun knew about it and he felt his insides were burning, his heart was also thumping furiously, then he learnt that it was jealously. It made him so frustrated that he wailed to Yixing, and the man who never seeing Sehun behaving so, was laughing out loud. It made him an asshole, but it’s Sehun. The fact that Sehun could get jealous making him extremely happy.

As their relationship got better and stronger, Yixing also know that he had to talk to his friends. It was easy to Junmyeon and Irene, as they knew since the start. Xiumin, his closest out of them all was not commenting much, as he didn’t like to prod into people’s life, only telling him to be extremely careful and to ask Junmyeon if Sehun could really be loyal, as he was a loyal guy and will be hurt if the younger betray him one day. Kyungsoo could be put aside first, if Kyungsoo knows, then Baekhyun will know. It means he had to deal with Chanyeol and Baekhyun first, then finally, he could tell Kyungsoo.

It was an easy theory but hard to do nonetheless. Despite his thoughts, Chanyeol was taking it easy, he was glad that Yixing was with the younger, as he wanted the younger to be happy, which he believed that Yixing could provide. And also, Yixing will not wanting his husband anymore. But then Chanyeol said, as his relationship with his husband was not as strong as he would like it to be, he might not be able to tell Baekhyun about them.

Since the first time he knew Baekhyun, he was always thought that he likes the guy, Baekhyun was his type, but the fool always looked at Chanyeol and no one else. It didn’t stop him to befriend Baekhyun though, he was friendly and witty. There’s a long history between him and Baekhyun, he still remembered how Baekhyun let him crash for a week because his apartment water pipe was leaking and creating a domestic flood on university days, Baekhyun kept him in his and Chanyeol flat and defend him even though Chanyeol hate having him there, saying that he wanted privacy with Baekhyun. Well, not privacy, they just want to fuck everywhere. 

He also remembered when Baekhyun tried recreating Stinky Tofu because he missed home, and the smaller tried even if he hated the smell. He loved Baekhyun, he was a dear friend, and couldn’t manage to lose him. When the gathering time came, he saw that even if Baekhyun not saying anything about the circumstances, it still made him uncomfortable. The following day, he received a text from Chanyeol too, saying that Baekhyun was breaking down, but he will try to accept Sehun for him. And he just knew by then, that he had to talk to Baekhyun, because he didn’t want to lose the smaller.

It was a painful process, Yixing remembered how Baekhyun yelled at him, saying that he was too selfish, the first time he was trying to talk Baekhyun out for forgiving Sehun.

“Xing, it’s not fair for me! You were being fucking selfish about it. He slept with my husband.” The smaller glared at him and Yixing flinched.

“I don’t want to lose you, Baek. I want us to live out our dream, remember? When we have our own family, adopting kids, and we will visit each other’s house for a while, letting our kids be friends, even take care of each other’s kid when needed.”

“Hire a fucking nanny!” Baekhyun yelled while closing his eyes, finger’s balled and knuckles turned white.

“Baek.”

“How can you be friends with the person who slept with your husband! Answer me, you are so fucking unfair, and here I thought you were one of my best friends.”

But Yixing didn’t stop trying, and Baekhyun gave in, he tried to at least be civil at Sehun, seeing how serious Yixing was with the younger. It started as an awkward double date, which Sehun and Baekhyun felt the most uncomfortable and wished to go home as soon as possible. The double date repeated for some times until Baekhyun felt used for Sehun presence and he no longer see his husband disloyalty as he sees the younger.

The start of which Sehun got closer with Baekhyun was because of his university final project, he needs to make a business case complete with the company logo. Baekhyun happened to be the only acquaintance that he had which mastered design, he didn’t have much friends after all. He chatted Baekhyun personally if he could pay for his service. Upon receiving the chat, the elder was very tempted to just declined it, but Chanyeol talked him out for it.

“Love, I know that it might be hard for you, but.. I’ll be proud if you could try be close with him. He’s not a bad person, I think personality wise you will match well, you know?”

“Forgiving you and him and embracing him to be my friend is different, Chanyeol. I wish you understand.”

Due to Baekhyun’s big heart, he ended up agreeing on helping Sehun, he told him he didn’t need to pay, but Sehun insist. They met up only the two of them, and just as Yixing and Chanyeol predict, they actually matched well, after talking about the business part, Sehun was inviting Baekhyun for a drink, the elder agreed and they got close instantly. It was truly a wonder for Chanyeol and Yixing, but they were happy that Baekhyun can finally accept Sehun.

Looking back at the past two and a half year, a lot of things had happened and changed, but they learnt from their mistakes, and life was getting better. Even if you can’t forget didn’t mean that you can’t forgive. Life happened, and you just need to react better and don’t let it control you. Baekhyun never regret on forgiving Sehun and got close with him. Now, he was a nice dongsaeng that he cherished.

The next gathering they have, Sehun was sitting closely with Baekhyun, whispering at each other for talking about inside jokes, and Baekhyun also bit the younger jokingly a lot, but the younger didn’t mind, they were being friends, and what’s a nibble between friends, right?

Sehun was grateful of how his life change, he was not happy as how he started, he was embarrassed of his previous mindset, he felt guilty of the countless relationship he ruined, but what matter was the present. How he managed to find a great man as his significant other, how he could feel loved and understand love, how he could have friends and people who actually mattered to him like Irene, Junmyeon, Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay Guys, this is 21 freaking pages. I don't even know why I write that much.  
> Please drop some comments if you like this, I sweat blood writing this shit. hahaha  
> Next One I might upload a more Chanbaek as a final epilogue.
> 
> Thank you, love you all for the supports.


	4. Epilogue

Epilogue – January 2025

“Ahh… this is how life suppose to be.” Chanyeol moaned and hugged his small husband. Baekhyun smiled back with eyes full of love.

It was their second honeymoon and their 11th marriage anniversary. At last they went to Okinawa and go island hopping. Today, they were watching the sunset at Cape Manzamo after strolling at the grass field. It was very beautiful, with the mellow sunset colors which met the vast blue sea, accompanied by the chirping birds and sound of waves. It was what they like, the nature, with minimal movements because Baekhyun didn’t really like sightseeing.

“Yeol, I feel like life is complete. I love this.” The smaller shifted his body a bit to capture the taller lips on his own. The kiss was not chase and urgent. It was light and knowing, as if to ensure each other that they are exist, and is content with everything.

“I love you, Baekhyun. More than I could say.” Chanyeol said when they broke their kiss and Baekhyun giggled.

“I never regret having you back.” The smaller gripped Chanyeol’s big hand and enveloped it on his own. He stared at his husband sincerely. “I’m happy to be your husband.” Baekhyun said and seeing Chanyeol grinned widely and showing too much of his teeth, he burst out a laughter.

“Fuck, that’s cheesy and you are getting too happy.” The smaller punched his husband’s firm chest.

“Yeah, it’s a bit cringe but I love it. And stop hitting me.” Chanyeol pecked his cheek.

“Okay maybe it’s the sunset, but I feel really emotional right now.” He stared at Baekhyun, and the smaller gave him a mischievous smirk.

“Just shoot.”

“We just had our 11th marriage anniversary yesterday. A lot of things have happened. I’m so happy that we are still together, I’m sorry for hurting you a lot.. back then.”

“It’s the past, come on, stop talking about it. What matters now is that you love me, and we’re happy together.”

“We are 31 years old now Baek.”

“Yeah, we’re old. God, we are seeing this beautiful sunset and you just have to remind that I’m old!” Chanyeol laugh and hid his face at the smaller’s nape.

“I’m old too. We are growing old together.”

“You are too cheesy today.” Baekhyun blushed. Having a person who has been in a lifetime with you as a husband is nice. But as they know everything about you, sometimes being sweet was too embarrassing because it just feels weird.

“I’m getting so cringe, maybe I’m too happy. And you are beautiful.” He said, pecked Baekhyun’s nape and leaned to his ear. “Even more than the sunset.” He whispered.

“What the fuck.” The smaller burst into a fit of laughter. “God, Yeol. It’s cringe.” He said, but deep down he was really happy he got his husband to compliment an old man as he was.

“Baek, do I earn your trust back?” Chanyeol suddenly ask, voice seems uncertain as he knew how his betrayal affected Baekhyun back then.

“Yes, of course. It’s been years Yeol, don’t talk about it anymore.” Baekhyun said and motion both of them to walk back to their lodging, it was getting darker as the sun almost fully sets. They were walking hand by hand in silence. It was not an awkward silence; it was a comfortable one. But as he glanced to his taller husband, he could see frown on his head and knowing right away that his husband was troubled.

As they enter their hotel, Baekhyun decided that his husband was too down for his liking, and he attacked him with kisses.

“What, Baek, why were you..” His smaller husband quickly kissed him again while circle his arms on the tall one.

“You like it, don’t you?” He asked mischievously, bit his nape, then letting go, leaving Chanyeol flustered. “Join me on the bath?” Baekhyun winked as he asked sensually while patting his own ass. Seriously his husband was a naughty little vixen. He licked his lips and joined his husband.

____________________________________

After their passionate love making, Chanyeol was eyeing the ceiling while holding Baekhyun who was resting on his chest.

“You are distracted.” It was a statement more than a question. He started to caressed Baekhyun’s head, as if to ensure that he was okay.

“There’s something been bugging on my mind.”

“Tell me.” Baekhyun said as he snuggled to the man’s chest cutely.

“I’m content with how our life is, Baek, don’t get me wrong-“

“But?”

“But I want more. I don’t think life is complete. I want.. you know..”

“What?” The smaller getting snappy, as he was nervous on what his husband about to say. He was nervous, and it was eating him. But as Chanyeol was nervous, and seeing his smaller husband get snappy, he chickened out.

“Never mind, don’t mind me.” He said dismissively, and they fell into a silence. But Baekhyun was starting to feel uneasy, what is it his husband want to say? First, he was asking if he trust him, then he became so distracted, then saying that his life didn’t feel complete and wanting more. What did Chanyeol want to say? At that moment, realization came to Baekhyun and his heart clenched. Was Chanyeol not content with their relationship?

“Am I.. being not enough for you?” He encouraged himself to say, while hiding between his husband’s chest and the blanket that he clenched tightly on his hand. Chanyeol was appalled at the statement.

“What the fuck, Baekhyun. Where does it came from?” Chanyeol asked while pulling himself into a sitting position and leaned to the headboard, which Baekhyun did the same. He was sitting up with blanket pooled around his wide hips, and shoulder crouched down with the face that avoided to look at his husband.

“You said life is not complete, and you want something else, but you refused to tell me.” It hurts, Baekhyun thought. It was as painful as the first time he discovered that his husband cheated on him. Chanyeol sighed and pulled Baekhyun to his embrace, he positioned his smaller husband on his lap and head buried on his nape, he felt small sniffled on his nape and felt so guilty.

“You shouldn’t run into a conclusion that fast. You said you trust me.” He pecked Baekhyun’s crown but he cried louder.

“Seriously, you are more than enough for me. It’s just that I.. I want to live on our dream. I wanted to adopt a kid together with you. But I’m scared you will turn it down, so I said never mind.” The smaller felt a surge of relieved ran through his body and he was frustrated on why he must feel that sorrow while it was only a misunderstanding. To channel it out, he bit his husband hard on the nape and punched his chest hard.

“Ow, God, stop being so violent when you were angry!” Chanyeol hissed and rubbed his sore nape that has just been bitten.

“But I’m pissed! If it’s just that, why does it make you that restless? It was as if you were about to say something bad!” Baekhyun pouted and hugged him even tightly.

“It’s something I really want, of course I’m scared if you will decline!” He was pissed as well, why didn’t Baekhyun understand, then he spanked his husband, then it was Baekhyun’s turn to hiss.

“Don’t spank me. Urgh, God!”

“So what do you think… Do you want to.. with me?” Chanyeol asked cautiously.

“I mean, yeah, why not? It’s my dream too. You don’t have to be so nervous about it.”

“Oh God, really?” Chanyeol asked, overly excited, he unconsciously tackled Baekhyun to the bed, hovering over him with beaming eyes. And when Baekhyun nodded firmly, he was attacked with kisses and he felt his ass was groped rather hard with his husband’s big calloused hand. He sighed in his mind, well, another round of love making.

____________________________________

They have told their family and friends about the plan of adopting kids, people were thrilled and been very supporting, and Yixing was admitting that he was jealous. Sehun and Yixing were now a fiancé and will be married next year, which he hasn’t told the younger about his plan on adopting kids.

“Baek, I’m jealous.” Yixing pouted at him and the smaller just laugh. They were now just chilling at the married couple’s apartment.

“Come on, adopt kid too and we can live out our dreams, right?” He asked while realizing that Sehun been staring at them, as if to observe what him and his fiancé was talking about.

“I haven’t talk to Sehun about it. We are engaged, not married, and don’t you think Sehun is too young?” He whispered to Baekhyun, obviously didn’t want his fiancé to hear.

“Does he love kids?”

“No idea. We never talk about it.”

“Then start talking about it, dude.” He said rather frustrated, but seeing Yixing’s dejected face, he knew that the man will not ask the younger himself. “Okay, I’ll ask Chanyeol if he knows about it.” He then walked away from Yixing and went to Chanyeol who’s cooking.

“Chanyeollie.” He tried to act cute and gave him a back hug.

“Oh Gosh Baek, go away, you’ll mess my cooking.” He tried to shrug his husband, because as much as he like Baekhyun when he was acting cute, but he didn’t like to be touch when he’s cooking. He was positive his husband just wanted to annoy him. The smaller then tip toe and bit his shoulder. He hissed and Baekhyun was giggling.

“Does Sehun like kids?”

“How the hell do I know?” He stared at the smaller man incredulously.

“Well, just.. maybe you know? Well, Yixing was jealous about our plan and he doesn’t have any idea if Sehun like kids.”

“Then take him to the orphanage with us. Why you ask me? We can see his reaction.” Baekhyun was surprised and look at his husband in awe.

“What? You feel like I’m smart? Come on, it’s obvious.” The taller gave him a smug smile and Baekhyun kicked his calf.

“God! Stop being so fucking violent.”

And so, a week from then, the pair was going to the orphanage with Sehun, Yixing was rejecting the offer though, saying that he might fell in love with a kid and will be brokenhearted, knowing that he couldn’t adopt the kid just yet.

“Hyungs, you guys want a girl or a boy?” He asked from the back seat of the car as he stared outside the window.

“Well maybe both?” Chanyeol laughed and his husband slapped his arm.

“I said let’s adopt one at a time, Yeoll.. Urgh.”

“Yeah, I’m kidding, gosh, so violent.” Chanyeol clucked his tongue and Sehun smiled from the interaction. The pair was cute, maybe because they have been with each other all of their life, they were so understanding towards each other, very rarely act sappy, but still sweet on their on way. Chanyeol was always the one who spoiled Baekhyun too much, in his opinion, but at the same time, he loved to annoyed his husband with snarky comments and bluffed, making his smaller husband kind of pissed. While Baekhyun really love to make fun of the taller, annoy him and being violent time to time, while Chanyeol just complained like he was doing right now but he could see that the taller not really hating it.

“We don’t really have a gender on our minds, well guys will be easier to handle I guess, because we’re both guys, but it’s fun to have girl in our home too. I can buy her tons of cute stuff and dress her up. I will be the favorite Dad. Girls love big guys.” He throw a remarked that he know will piss Baekhyun off, Sehun giggled and Baekhyun glared at his husband.

“Don’t hit me! I warned you.” But the smaller bit his arm nonetheless and Sehun was laughing.

“Age?” He asked the pair again.

“Yeollie wants a baby, while I don’t really have certain age in mind.”

When they arrived at the orphanage, the pair was observing from the end of the big room. It was a good orphanage, the one that was so taken care of. There’s a bunch of kids playing, while some of them, the not so little ones, ranging from three to six years old, tried to get closer to the three and appeal them. They must be understanding by now that the pair were a prospective new parent and they really want them to be.

There’s one girl was clutching Baekhyun’s shirt and tugging on it, he was personally not attracted to the girl, but he lifted her up and carried her to make her somehow happy.

“Hey, what’s your name, pretty girl?”

“I’m Naeun-ie. The teacher said that I’m four years old.” Naeun said clunged her arms on his neck. Chanyeol stared at the smaller, as if to know if he wanted the kid, Baekhyun stared back while raising his eyebrow. He was glad his smaller husband not really attracted to the girl. He doesn’t really like Naeun too.

After a few small talks, Baekhyun put the girl to ground and he tried to walk further to the room. Chanyeol was holding his hand while Sehun, already in the center of the room playing with kids.

“And Yixing thought he doesn’t like kids.” Chanyeol whispered and clucked his tongue. The smaller saw Sehun and the kids interaction, well, he make sure he will send the good news to Yixing.

They went to the baby room, looking at the small creatures intently, but honestly, no baby were taking his heart.

“It’s okay Baek, it doesn’t really have to be babies.” He whispered to assure his husband.

“You want it.”

“But it’s okay if it’s not. They were handful too; we will lose a lot of sleep.” He gripped his husband’s shoulder to really assure him that it’s okay. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, there’s a lot more orphanage too, it doesn’t have to be this one.”

Then they went to the big room again, really taking their time to see one child to another, but really, there’s no kid that tugged the pair heartstring yet. While Sehun was seemingly so attached with a girl already. He even played together and made the girl laugh a lot.

By then, when they were in the edge of desperation, and wanted to just end their orphanage visit, and maybe jump to another, a loud cry of Naeun caught their attention. Spontaneously, they approached the scene.

“Haechan took the teddy bear! It’s Naeunnie’s.” Naeun wailed and hugged Chanyeol’s calf. He petted the girl’s hair, flustered at the small girl. Haechan who hugged the teddy bear was pouting and having a teary eyes. Out of nowhere, there’s a slightly older kid, he looks like he was eight or so, kneeling beside Haechan and whispered something at the little guy and push him to leave them, then he pulled Naeun who was stubbornly hugging Chanyeol’s calf and successfully hold the girl to prevent her to go at the pair again.

“Naeun, it’s not your teddy, it’s ours. Learn to share. You keep on hugging the teddy for days already.” He said sternly and bowed at Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

“I’m sorry, she is always like this. Sorry for bothering you both.” Chanyeol and Baekhyun shared a meaningful stare. This boy seems right.

“I guess she really wants to have parents too. She kept on doing this when people are visiting.” He said while Naeun was hitting his stomach and arms. The scene must have taken the caretakers attention and a caretaker came to them and dragged Naeun away. The boy sighed.

“Are you here for adopting?” He asked but strangely, there’s no gleam of hope in his eyes, it was like he was asking for the sake of asking.

“Yes, actually we are planning too.” Chanyeol said.

“Umm.. have you seen Yuri? She is the prettiest, she also behaves well. Uhh.. or if you want a boy, we have Taemin, he is rather timid, but he is really cute, he has a big smile. He’s a good younger brother.” The pair was puzzled on why this boy was promoting others and not himself. Baekhyun go down at his knees to be the same level at the kid.

“What is your name, cutie pie?” The boy blushed and he avoid Baekhyun’s gaze.

“I’m Mark, and I’m not cute. Let me take you to Yuri and Taemin.” He said and tried to walk away. This time Chanyeol kneeled down and grab the boy’s hand.

“Hey, don’t you want parents too? Why are you keep on promoting other kids?” Mark felt nervous because the adults were giving him attention, it never happened before.

“The parents always wanted small kids. Well I know why, I mean they are cute. I’m not cute or smart, so many people told me that.” He gave a smile, he tried to be cheerful but the pair know that the boy felt sad inside.

“Hey, you are charming you know, also handsome.” Baekhyun winked at him and he gave them a genuine smile.

“What’s your hobby, little guy?”

“Umm.. I like singing and play guitar, we only have two guitars, and one of the caretaker been teaching me well.”

“Chanyeollie over here really like to play guitar too as his hobby, you know? And I like drawing. I’m a designer.”

“Oh really? Uhh.. do you want to teach me?” He asked timidly and gave a hopeful stare at Chanyeol.

“Sure, but you have to play first.” Mark beamed at the man and energetically walk to the place they put the guitar. While walking there, Baekhyun grabbed his husband hand and leaned to his ears.

“I like the boy.”

“I bet you are, I like him too.”

After they played guitar together, the pair was going to the orphanage office to tell them about Mark’s adoption.

“Mark is a caring brother for all of the orphanage kids. He is mature compared to his age. He didn’t really do good at school, but he was really good with guitars and singing. I guess it was his passion.” The lady caretaker said.

“Can we know his back story?” Baekhyun asked the lady.

“His parents died on a car crash when he was four, the relative refused to take him in and send him here. He used to be down all the time, but as years goes by, he got better, especially when he learnt to play guitar and sing. But it was harsh for him, no prospective parents have ever wanted him. There was once a newlywed pair came, the girl really like Mark but her husband bluntly said that he was not cute. And yeah, he stop believing that he will adopted someday.” Baekhyun gasped and Chanyeol widened his eyes.

“Wow, that guy.. what an ass.” Chanyeol muttered and the lady gave him a smile.

“How long does it take to adopt him? We really really want him.” Baekhyun said eagerly, he was so ready to give the boy love as much as he deserved.

“Do you guys have sent an adoption permit to the government?”

“Yeah, we have been permitted; we have the document on our car.”

“You can give the copy to us along with your marriage certificate copy and IDs. It took rather fast, in one or two days, you can have him with you.”

The pair took the documents and gave the lady to get it processed, after it went on screening and approved, they will be notified and Mark will be ready to head home with them. They were about to notify Sehun, but they heart went soft seeing Sehun was tucking the girl to bed, the same girl whom has played with him all day. Chanyeol captured the scene on his phone and send to Yixing.

“Seems like you are attached to the girl. Want to adopt?” Baekhyun asked with a mischievous smile.

“I’m not even married, Hyung.” He said and rolled his eyes.

____________________________________

The pair was thrilled when Mark came for the first time to their house, he was sent by the caretakers along with his minimal belongings.

“Hey, how is the journey?”

“It’s good, no traffic.” He then stiffened as Baekhyun kneeled and hugged him tight.

“Welcome home, Mark.” Baekhyun said and Chanyeol ruffled his hair.

“Let’s have lunch, we have told the caretakers not to give you lunch, we prepared a feast for you.” Baekhyun said and hold Mark’s hand to their dining room. The boy’s eyes gleamed at the sight of Pizza, Chicken and coke. He then turned his head to Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

“We heard you like pizza and chicken. Come on sit and eat.” Chanyeol said and Mark sit beside Baekhyun while Chanyeol was across them. They saw how Mark eat shyly in front of them and the pair exchange a satisfied look.

“Do you have any questions for us?” Chanyeol asked as they finished eating and drinking their coke.

“Umm.. I haven’t known your name.” The pair then burst out laughter.

“Oh Gosh, sorry, it slipped out our mind. I’m Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol, and my husband beside you is Baekhyun, used to be Byun Baekhyun but now he is also a Park, Park Baekhyun.” he said proudly.

“I kind of lost the game when we were about to change our last name. It will be cooler with Byun. Byun Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun.” The smaller clucked his tongue.

“You decided it with a game?” Mark eyed his new parents disbelievingly.

“Yeah.. So anyway, you are Park Mark now. How does it sounds, you love it, Mark?” Chanyeol asked.

“Uhh.. I think Park is a cool last name.. But it’s…” Mark eyed them awkwardly, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

“It’s kind of weird right? Because the difference only P and M like.. Park Mark. Gosh, it will be better if it’s Byun Mark.” Mark smiled sheepishly, agreeing what Baekhyun think and Chanyeol grimaced.

“Come on, it’s cool. What’s your real name?”

“Lee Mark. But I will get used to Park Mark I guess.” He smiled.

“Okay so Mark, we both liked to be called Daddy, but you can’t call us both Daddy. So choose, which one do you want to call Daddy and which one you want to call Appa.”

“Uhh..” Mark was contemplating because he knows now that they both want to be called Daddy. He felt like it’s too much pressure.

“Can we decide it with rock paper scissors?”

“Oh God! It’s the game that make Baekhyun a Park.” Chanyeol laughed out loud and Baekhyun pouted.

“God, I have a bad feeling.” Baekhyun muttered.

“Okay let’s just get over it, Baek.” Chanyeol said and they played the game. Turned out Baekhyun’s bad feelings turned out to be right, he lost on the game, he didn’t win to be called Daddy.

“Baek Appa.” Chanyeol laughed in satisfaction while Baekhyun sighed. Mark was observing them and chuckled too. He was pissed seeing his husband so happy and stepped on his feet rather hard.

“What the hell Baekhyun, stop being violent.” His husband said and Baekhyun grinned. Just from this interaction, Mark could see himself fit in the fun household.

“Can I ask more? Uhh.. Why do you adopt me?” He asked and looked down.

“Because you are cute and charming, we could also see that you are kindhearted. You deserve to be loved too, dear. Not only your young brothers and sisters. Mark’s eyes watered and Baekhyun instantly hugging him. Chanyeol then approached them and enveloped them both into a hug with his big embrace.

As what Mark thought, he fit in well in the household, his parents were also cute. They were bickering a lot but he could see that they love each other, and they also showered him with love. It was so cute when their parents didn’t think that he was awaken yet and when he went to common room, he saw their parents kissed sweetly, and when he make a sound, they both startled and his Appa blushed. Mark decided he was happy with his life now.

____________________________________

What’s unexpected was Sehun and Yixing’s marriage was a year earlier than it should. The reason was rather unbelievable, Sehun couldn’t take his mind of the little girl from the orphanage, he was throwing a longing look every time they go to Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s household and see them with Mark. It also happened when Mark was sent to their house to be taken care of for the days Baekhyun and Chanyeol has things to attend or just wanted to have a date.

In the end, Sehun and Yixing got married with Zhang as their last name and adopted Yuqi. Now both pairs are living up to their dreams, and Yugi also get along well with Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is really the end, end.  
> I really feel accomplished with this fic honestly, I think to this date, this is the best work of mine.  
> Thank you so much for readers who cherished this work as much as I am.
> 
> Please drop some comments for this fluffy chapter if you love it.  
> Don't forget to give kudos too.
> 
> Love you all.


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